What I am reading now...

Isaac's school paperwork had a statement that said "Your child has now begun his formal education." I have to admit, this struck a little bit of nervousness in me. With his various struggles in preschool and Sunday school classrooms with his energy level and following directions, every new school year brings it's own set of unknowns. I found this book at the library written last year by an Author who writes for Newsweek. It is really a great read and I find it to be even more appropriate to begin this as the school year is now in full swing. Here is a review written on the book:

"While the nation’s schools worked diligently to improve the academic performance of girls—including closing the achievement gap in math and science between girls and boys—few noticed the slow and steady decline in the academic performance of boys. The reading and writing achievement gap between girls and boys continues as boys also stack up unfavorably in every measure from school discipline, to graduation rates, to grades, to college admission. Newsweek reporter Tyre examines troubling statistics that detail the academic decline of boys and cites psychologists, sociologists, brain researchers, and others to explain the reasons behind the numbers. Tyre examines how schools—and broader society—have changed in ways that shortchange boys and how gender politics is affecting reactions to the dire statistics. She focuses on boys' specific problems—fidgeting in school, scattered attention, reading problems, and a shortage of male teachers. Through vignettes, Tyre offers advice to parents concerned about their sons. Most important, Tyre asks the ultimate question: how to help boys without jeopardizing the advances of girls." --Vanessa Bush

I think that it is important to note this as a mother of a son, to be aware of the ways that boys inherently struggle with school, and to not be so quick to jump on Isaac for "misbehavior". Here is an MSNBC article about the subject and book. And HERE is a Q & A with the author to better explain this concept. I myself felt like I struggled in school even though when I looked back as an adult my grades were average to high- I always felt like I just didn't match up. This has been a driving force in my quest to make learning and school the best experience for my children. I have already signed up for Isaac's school PTA and plan to be as involved as I can. I was surprised to see several times mentioned in his Pre-K parent paperwork the urging to "read to your child 15 minutes every day." I have been doing this with both kids up to 30-45 minutes every day since they were toddlers. I guess I take for granted that not every parent can or will do that.

Another interesting factor is that it has been well known for decades now that African American boys fare the worst in the school system. They are the highest drop out rate, the lowest test scorers, and are known behavior problems across the board. The reasons for this are plentiful, I can tell you. But the point is that my child is in the lower bracket for achievers based on his gender and race alone. So it is up to us as his parents to change that so he is not just another statistic. One way I plan on doing that is advocating for his (and other boys) best in the classroom. I am not sure if you are aware of this but a very common discipline tactic to "motivate" boys to behave is to take away part or all of their recess. This is something I just will not tolerate with my child. Recess is the only way for boys to release their energy appropriately and aides in their ability to sit still later on in the day. It is not a luxury, it is a necessity. I think that children should all have a morning and afternoon recess but with the pressure on teachers and schools to get their standardized testing scores up, physical education has taken a back seat. Many schools even in our area have cut back the standard 30 minute recess to 20 minutes. Combine this with removing part or all of it as punishment and that just makes for a LONG day for the average school boy (7:45a.m.-3:00p.m. to be exact). And we wonder why more and more children are being diagnosed ADHD and/or obese!

I believe that if I stay on top of Isaac's schooling- by educating myself on the plight of boys in the school system in an effort to maximize his potential, staying involved at his school and with teaching concepts at home, and making sure to keep a good line of communication open with his teachers- he will have a greater chance at succeeding, even if the statistics are stacked against him.

This is the very reason why I sent cookies for his teachers on Friday with a note that said "you survived the first week of school!" It is not just stressful for children to have to keep up, it is tough on our teachers too. And if my children's teachers like me and see that I am there to assist them in their endeavor, they might just make it a little easier on my child! That is my hope anyway! :)

No Good Very Bad Day

Isaac has had a wonderful week at school but we have noticed that as the week has progressed he has been getting a bit weepy about little things and sometimes would give us a long strand of why things aren't going right. Last night we took him to Cici's. He loves pizza and we wanted to have a family night out. Well, after filling up his belly beyond capacity he and Vivi went into the arcade part. We declined his request for coins and they pretty much amused themselves without them. After awhile he plopped down at the table huffing and said without so much as a break to breathe:


"I don't have any coins, and I can't play any games, and noone likes me, and everyone else gets to be line leader at school, and I don't get to eat the cafeteria food, and nobody lets me watch tv or do anything fun!

I couldn't help it, I had to laugh. He described exactly the way my days have been going too.

My Girly Girl

Isaac's First Day of Pre-K!

He looks like such a small fish in a big pond!

Today could not have gone better! It started with a parent meeting in the library where they gave us drop off/pick up instructions and talked about their daily folders, etc. Then the Pre-K teachers passed out name tags and they lined the children up to go to the cafeteria. They invited the parents to stay (probably to alleviate meltdowns!) for lunch. Isaac opened all of his packages on his own and had a good time. He showed everybody the note I packed in his lunch, which was too funny. And he has even made a friend. The friend was crying that he had to stay at school without his grandparents and Isaac told him he would be there and be his friend so he didn't have to be scared! The teacher said he told the kid this again once they went to the classroom and that stopped his crying. Way to go Isaac, the class ambassador! :) Looks like they have a very structured and easy to understand behavior policy established in the classroom with a reward system, which Isaac does really well with. My BIG prayer this year is that Isaac is a joy to have in the classroom both to the adults and other children and that his hyperactivity doesn't get the best of him! I also pray that he really enjoys school and that it gives him a sense of excitement for the years to come.
When I came to pick him up, his teacher said "he is really smart and very articulate. He is going to keep me on my toes this year!" Too funny...I told her yeah if he doesn't talk your ears off.

Here is the gift we gave his classroom. It had colored tissue paper, sharpies, and green glitter that the teachers had requested with little paper apple tags on a tree (seen in yellow above), also I included teacher scissors, tape, fall border and die cuts, and notepads- all in a canvas bag.

Here is the class going off to their room. My last shot of him before he was gone for the afternoon. Isaac looks upset but he wasn't. Right after I snapped the picture, he smiled and posed! I think he was done with having his picture taken. He said "bye mom!' and I thought...oh how far we have come from that scared little toddler that would scream and cry for an hour any time we left him! Just goes to show how much progress our little guy has made in just 3 years!

Meet the Teacher(s)!

We went up to the elementary school for meet the teacher last night. I walked in to find out he actually will have two teachers and two aides!! And the funniest thing is that he is the afternoon class which currently only has 6 kids enrolled including him! The morning class has 17! His class could get up to 10 or 12 the first month of school though as parents realize their child is eligible for Pre-K.
Here he is in front of his locker.
Yellow apples are the morning class which has to share lockers,
but the afternoon class doesn't!
He will be going to school M-F from 12:00-3:00.
In the reading corner, which also had a puppet theater with lots of ethnicities amongst the puppet people! The Dr. puppet was African American. Yeah! Looks like several of his classmates (based on their names I read on their lockers)
are either Asian or Middle Eastern.

Here he is at his table. It had a little apple nametag. I guess they didn't get the memo that yellow is his favorite color! He will make sure they know. :)

The front door to his classroom.

And here is the gift I brought for his teacher. Good thing I put two bottles since he has two teachers and I thought he only had one! Too bad for the aides. I told Billy Christmas gifts to his FOUR teachers is going to be tricky this year!

School starts Monday!!

Thank you honey

Billy gave me this for my birthday.
I need a good book I can get lost in as it seems we have had more downs then ups these days. Yesterday being one of the biggest ones.

Plus I have heard the book kicks the movie's butt. So we will see!

Hmmmm...what to do? **Updated at bottom**

We are hoping to get a house sometime in September or October. The kids will once again have their own rooms, woo hoo!! (and a playroom...double woo hoo!) So, I was thinking I might do their bathroom a kid's theme. We have always had a neutral color scheme in our second bathroom because it was also the guest's bathroom, so this time I kind of want to spice it up a bit. I received money for my birthday (today, by the way, is the day I turn 31!) and I want to use it on their bathroom. So, I found this shower curtain online and LOVE it. But the reviews all said they bought it for their daughter's bathroom. Okay, I get it doesn't look masculine but I need a gender neutral bathroom and I am not a huge fan of the traditional fish or duck theme. Plus, it is not like Isaac is a teenager. There is red and orange and black in there! I thought with a colorful array of towels and rugs, it could work for a brother and sister bathroom, but am I just wishful thinking?

As a reference point, this has been the rug in their bedroom, seperating their beds. It will be put in the playroom when we move. So you can see I like the multicolor dot look.There is also this option.


I could go with a whole elephant, giraffe, jungle theme.Or this zebra print, but I am not sure this looks "kid" enough.

I need help, people!! :)

UPDATED

Got an email today that the house we fell in love with (and of course I had already mentally arranged all our furniture in!) has been leased by someone else. Nice to get that notice ON my birthday, I was very upset. I guess it's my party and I'll cry if I want to. We will be back on the house hunting track come the 1st of September.

Isaac's Song

I found this video from this spring that I forgot to post. It is Isaac singing a song he made up about Jesus dying and rising again...1....2....3....Hit it!

angry eyes

Ya'll have probably seen this hilarious video of the angry eye baby. Don't ask me why this young child is eating a drumstick icecream! But he sure is funny!





Well we have had our own version (minus the nutty dessert) for awhile now. Vivi's angry eyes have always cracked us up!

Double Dollar Coupons

Okay, I know ya'll remember my FREE grocery post from last week's shopping. Well this week was even better!! Kroger is doubling all manufacturer coupons that are 75 cents and a dollar today only. As you can see from the receipt in just clipped Sunday paper coupons alone w/the doubling and tripling I saved $60.08! Combine that with sales items for a total savings of $89.13 or 49% of my grocery budget! I bought groceries for my family of four (minus produce that I will buy at Target tomorrow) for a grand total of $92.12. Just some of the great deals I was able to purchase today were 4 packs yogurt for 49 cents and the kids yogurt packs for free, free kid's shampoo, free deoderant, free shave gel, free cheerios, free black pepper, 89 cent Colgate, 99 cent mini pretzel bags, 40 cent ketchup, AA batteries qty. 8 for $3.oo., an 8 pack of juice boxes for Isaac's lunch for $1.50, a large pump of body lotion for $1.19. WooHoo!

I must be a true stay-at-home mom if this is the kind of thing that makes my weekend!!

Don't forget to clip those coupons friends, and happy shopping!!

Mama's Little Dolphin!

Paige posted video of Isaac under water, HERE. Go check it out!

What's goin' on...

Today I have Jarrett all day and tomorrow Isaac has a Dr. appt. for a deep cough he has had for a week. Saturday is double dollar coupons at Kroger! Woohoo! So my mom and I are taking advantage of that. Then we have a b-day party to go to and my sister is taking me to a movie that night. Monday and Tuesday I have Jarrett and will probably be taking him to Main Event. Wed. is my 31st b-day, and Thursday is meet the teacher. Next Friday is playgroup and hopefully Billy and I can go out to dinner. That is our last weekend before school starts! So that is my week in a nutshell.

I am looking forward to school starting. I think Isaac will really enjoy it as he loves to make new friends. We have been working on this workbook given to him by his Nana. He really likes it and has been working on forming lower case letters. He is especially good at the math section and has completed the science section already. This is good bonding time for us while Vivi naps in the afternoon.

I highly recommend all Brain Quest products. Both kids have the card packs for their age group and this workbook is really well done.

Fall Fashion

Isaac did a little fashion show for his Dad with some of his new fall apparel.

Of course it is going to be quite awhile yet

before the weather changes for this outfit!

Which is good because he needs to grow into that shirt a little better.

And not to be outdone, Vivi wanted to try on her "pink".

She actually chose to pose like this which of course made her Mama smile!
I found matching pink and blue Adidas track suits at Costco for a great deal.

They are going to look so cute this winter!

Keep Praying...

Brandi with her girls; Mazzie, Monae, and Matea

I will be posting updates on Brandi's health on my facebook page.

You can click HERE to read the first one.

I have also created a "Brandi" label off to the right if you want to see all the posts concerning her I have written since baby Matea was born in May.

Free Groceries...UPDATED

***UPDATED***

Sorry I didn't post how I got these for free! Oops! Okay here we go item by item. First of all I clip coupons in the Sunday paper and many times will have multiples of the same product. I only use these coupons if the item is already on sale or a necessity. The 3 major grocery stores in our area double coupons up to 50 cents and triple up to 35 cents. So this savings can really add up. In this picture, I purchased the cereal, water, hotdogs, ground turkey, cheese, spinach, and mustard at buy one get one free deals at the store. In conjunction, you can use coupons for BOTH items. For example if you have two coupons for mustard and the store sale is buy one get one free, I have had cashiers allow me to submit both coupons because "technically" I am buying two. I know this may sound sneaky but it is all in picking the right cashier. Older women will ALWAYS scrutinize your coupons. Teenage boys never will. SO choose your cashier wisely when couponing unless you want to be in line for a long time explaining all your purchases...not fun. Kroger sent me coupons for free cake mix, hot chocolate, and waffles (so that accounts for those). Then I used store coupons in conjunction with manufacturer coupons to get the suave children's shampoo for free. The hot fudge, whipped cream, and cherries were free if you bought a carton of icecream. So there you go! My real trick is combining store coupons/deals with manufacturer coupons that get doubled and tripled. This has allowed me to triple a coupon for a sale item and get that item for free with the store owing me 5 cents! Ha!! Just make sure you clip coupons every sunday so they will pile up and do not use them at walmart and target unless they are for a $1.00 or more and the item is already on sale. IT isn't worth it otherwise because they do not double and triple. Make sense? Also, I shop with a calculator and only pay cash that way you are forced to be choosy on your choices and won't get sucked into impulse buys. I pay $125 once a week for our family of four- no more. It is amazing when I am careful how much I can bring home! So I hope that helps ya'll become super shoppers too. Thanks for asking, Rebecca!

I had a little extra time Friday morning as Billy was home with the kids. So I did my once a week grocery shopping but went to two stores across the street from each other since they both had different specials going on in their weekly ads. Taking advantage of the store sales and using coupons I had, this is a picture of all the FREE products I brought home (minus a cucumber that was already put away). You read that right, everything in this picture was free! Between the two stores, my receipt reflected that I had saved over $80 on groceries. Billy said "Wow, I can't believe you were able to buy all this for that amount of money! We don't have room for it all." I just smiled. Yeah for bargain shopping!

Billy emailed this picture to our financial advisor.

He replied back that he and his wife were very proud!

P.S. I made that reduced sugar cake mix into chocolate cupcakes with reduced sugar frosting for a potluck last night, and they were all eaten in about 10 minutes! Noone knew they were "diet". Go Pillsbury!

Navigating the Tricky Waters of Open Adoption

In the interest of writing openly about our open adoption (is that redundant?) but maintaining the same spirit of not putting too much personal information "out there"- I thought I would post a little about what we have going on. I know I have a lot of readers who have adopted or are in the process of adopting and many who also have open adoptions. So this remains a relevant topic for all of us.

In our open adoption with Vivianna's birthmother; I have sent letters, pictures, emails, photos over email, and we have had up to 4 get-togethers a year. We have also instant msg'd over email, and spoken twice together at our agency's functions. So far so good, right? Well about a month ago, we hit a snag in this relationship when some birthfamily drama went down. I won't devulge what that was for privacy sake, but we did contact our agency- who spoke to our birthmother and we also had to contact an attorney. Nothing came of all the drama, but I have found my relationship with her birthmom to be strained ever since. I have not contacted her in an effort to let the "dust settle" and also because I just didn't know what to say or how to precede. This has brought me great sadness. Last night she instant messaged me. I was not comfortable not responding as I would not treat anyone in my life with that kind of snubiness. So I responded. I immediately touched on our strained relationship and how I wasn't sure how to move forward. Her defenses went up and she basically gave her goodbyes to us, wishing us a good life! I am so thankful that the Holy Spirit prodded me to not let that be it. I could sense in her a deep disappointment she has in people and this was her way of rejecting us before we could reject her. I have never wanted to see an end to our relationship , or for it to be marked by just occasional pictures I send her way. But I also do not want to cross unhealthy boundaries with people who are not in the same place in life as us.

So I explained how I felt, told her she is family to us and we may not always agree with decisions she makes or her life choices, but we will always love her and desire a relationship. This broke down her defenses and she cried. She said that people had told her we would one day just walk and remove our relationship with her and she didn't believe that, until this all went down. She said this has been heavy on her heart and she didn't want to ever hurt us or Vivi. I told her that our relationship will eb and flow and that is okay, but she will always be a part of us and we love her even if we don't love all the choices she makes. We ended with her giving me her mailing address as I said I had summer pictures to send.


Why go to all this trouble you may wonder. Why not just do adoption the way it used to be done? Where the adoptive parents and child go on to build their life together and the birthmother is expected to "get over it and move on"? Wouldn't this be the easiest path to take? The birthmother and child can just "reunite" when the baby becomes an adult. This is what has been seen as best in the past. But time has told us that this is not. Adoptees go through life with many unanswered questions, often times a sense of loss prevades them long term. Birthmothers feel as if something was taken from them, not just having to say goodbye to parenting the child, but having to say goodbye to a bond and relationship that was formed. This is not a picture of adoption we were comfortable with. We truly feel a bond with her birthmother and family and as Vivi is our daughter, they are our family too. You don't get to choose your family members, God does that. But we should still honor them. We do not feel like we owe her birthmother anything as a result of Vivi being ours. That was done by the hand of our Lord who in His sovereignty chose adoption for her and us before the creation of the world. But we do want to honor her as she is also a part of the little girl we love so much.

Our birthmother was hesitant in the beginning to have an open adoption. She has always deferred to what we wanted and were comfortable with, but as Billy said he doesn't think she counted on liking us so much! It is her relationship with me (not Vivi) that keeps this thing going. I know if we no longer had an open adoption, it isn't Viv she would miss it is the friendship we have formed.

So we forge ahead. There are no guarantees in life, I have found that out. So I cannot say what the future holds, but I know today my heart has been restored with the woman who I have daily thought about and prayed for for the last 2 years and 5 months. And this is a good place to be.

Best Friends Forever

Vivi has 3 girl friends who are her same age; Monae, Gracie, and Aliza.

She doesn't get to see Aliza but about once a year now as her family lives overseas.

But we were privileged to have her and her baby sister Norah and her mommy (one of my BFF's) over for a couple hours last Monday morning. The girls loved each other and also had several cat fights that got pretty heated! We just laughed at them, they were hilarious! Gloria said that Aliza cried leaving the parking lot saying "I want to play with Vivi!!" Ahhh...we miss you already, sweet girl!
Here is a video of them playing ring around the rosie.

P.S. They gave me a webcam as an early birthday present so now we can Skype!! YEAH!!

School Supplies

I have successfully completed our school supply list!! Thankfully I was able to accomplish this task before all my travels of these past weeks. Meet the teacher is in 2 weeks! Isaac has his backpack ready (from last year), a new lunch box, water bottle, shoes, supplies, and clothes all set to go. I think he is ready. I just need to buy his teacher a gift and we are all set. Look how little he looks behind that mound of supplies! In this picture he sure doesn't look old enough to be a student, yet!

Back Early

Brandi was able to see the holistic Dr. and receive a day of treatments at the center. In her quest to find out what is going on with her, and her desire to be with her husband and kids, we came back home early. She had a dr.'s appt. today in Austin which told her nothing and one tomorrow. We are hoping for an MD to sign a form to have her blood sent to California to be definitively checked for Lyme's Disease as she grows more sure by the day that this is what she has that is ravaging her body. I was able to shop for and begin her on a gluten free and dairy free diet, high in organic fruits and vegetables and low in protein. This is what the holistic dr. as well as others who are being treated for Lyme recommend in an attempt to rebalance your body and aide in the immune system's quest to heal. She is also taking herbal supplements and will be looking further into medical treatments. So far, this continues to be devestating. Her flare-ups are in the evening and her symptoms during these are many including heart flip-flops, tremors throughout her body, electrical pulses in her brain, extreme pain in her back, chest, ankles, facial numbness, and panic attacks. She is hurting deeply emotionally and physically and we continue to pray for a miracle.

During a part of my 11 hour drive to get her back to her family, she had my pomeranian pup, Oscar on her lap. He seemed to really settle her nerves and help her breathe through her flare-up. It was the happiest her husband and I have seen her in 2 months. She laughed, smiled, reminisced. It was a sweet time. I have offered to have her borrow the dog (seriously!!) if at any time she needs him! I love her so much. I won't share what we personally discussed during her worst times, but she is wanting to fight this and yet is so weak to hold on and often times prays for God to take her. She has said her goodbyes to all of us. I continue to hold out hope that something will happen to relieve her suffering and prolong her life. I pray for the God of all comfort to surround her during this dark, dark time. I wish I could be with her to continue to prepare her meals, monitor her supplement intake, and bring her comfort and care but we just live too far apart. SO I will continue to pray for her and lend support from a distance.

She may find herself headed back to Kansas with her family in tow this time to continue treatments at the center. In the meantime...we wait and pray.

On The Road Again

I will be leaving today for Wichita, KS and will not be back until Saturday. My friend Brandi has only gotten worse in her health since I left her in Austin on Thursday. Her husband drove her to Andale where she is staying with his parents and will begin receiving treatments at a holistic treatment center this week. I am going to lend support and be there with her if something happens and she ends up in the hospital. Her husband had to go back to work and take care of their girls.

I will keep you updated if I have internet axcess there. Please continue to pray. Her situation is not good.

Back to School Prep Begins...

3 weeks from tomorrow, Isaac starts Pre-K!

We have been buying school supplies and finished our back to school clothes shopping this weekend. Thank you to both sets of grandparents who generously contributed to their fall wardrobes! It is a huge relief for us to know they are prepared if and when the weather changes.
They will be stylin' once again!

I will post pics of our preperations as the weeks countdown. I was shopping for clothes Saturday morning and the sales ladies were discussing back-to-school. One said her best friend's daughter is starting Pre-K and she is so sad because that means Kindergarten is right around the corner and after that "it is all over because they don't come out until they are grown." Yikes! This made it sound like I am shipping my child off to boarding school! What a bleek way to look at it. I am personally excited for school- nervous about the influences on Isaac for sure- but excited for all that he will learn and experience this year. He is such a social and active child that I know he will just love it. I will be spending some time in prayer for his teacher and the other adults and classmates he comes in contact with. I just want them all to love my boy as much as I do!

Vivianna and Aliza

If you recall THIS post and THIS post, then you will understand this post!!

One of Vivi's bff's, Aliza got to visit her at Old Navy recently.

Thanks for the pics, Gloria! Love it...love it!!

We will get to see them Monday for a playdate before they head back to Dubai.