Surviving Motherhood With Four

A sweet blog reader of mine emailed me and said she was requesting a post on being the mother of four children. I smiled at that because honestly, it doesn't always feel like I am the mother of four, or that four is all that many kids. I read blogs of moms who homeschool 6 and 7 kids! But I also know motherhood is not a competition to see who can have the most kids, do the most with those kids, etc. So...for us, four kids is plenty of children...and does take some organizing and planning on a daily basis. So I am going to start a series that I will post on as it comes to me, titled Surviving Motherhood With Four. This may actually inspire me to do what I have wanted to do for sometime...create weekly menus, a weekly cleaning schedule, chore charts for the kids, a Reading Routine, Exercise with the kids, and a set library day each week. We will see. Having to blog about it might be my motivation!
Which would be good because I still feel like I am treading water!

So to kick off my series...here is post One!

Showering as a Mother of Four
Something that occured to me when my youngest was about 2 weeks old, is that I could not remember when I last had a shower. As I sat there pondering this...I also tried to plan when I would be able to take a shower. Between feedings, school drop-offs and pick-ups, laundry, vacuuming, dog care, grocery shopping, and more...there was not a good time of day to shower. When I would think to myself, "shower at the end of the day" suddenly in would pop..."but the baby needs a bath, and in the morning I will have to bathe Vivi so her curls will be fresh for school, and then the boys need a bath before bed or in the morning....or right after dinner...and what about all the dirt dangling from Oscar's hiney, somebody is going to need to bathe him before he sits on the couch...ahhhh. Too many washings needed to get in before me! In the morning Billy showers while I pack lunches and fix breakfast. Then he is suddenly ready to leave for work right when I think I can pause from the morning mayhem to take a shower.

So...I have come to this very important conclusion:

A mother of four has to fight for her right to shower.

Noone is going to suggest you take a shower because then they would have to fend for themselves for the 7 minutes you are in there. They would rather put up with your greasy hair and body odor. It's true. So as a mother of four (or one or two), you will sometimes have to loudly announce to all that can hear "I am NOW taking a shower!"

Now in the beginning I would dash to get my towel, jump in while the water was still heating up, kick aside bath toys and hope I don't fall to my death, then hurriedly shiver through my routine of face wash,rinse,shampoo, rinse, conditioner, body wash, rinse, towel off, throw on my robe, and call myself the queen of speed showers.

Not anymore, people. This Mama has wised up. Now I leisurely choose the fluffiest towel, empty the tub of ALL child bath paraphenelia. Let the water fully heat up while I check out my roots in the mirror and wistfully remember the days when I could afford to be blonde. Then I step in and begin my routine, fixing the sprayer to just the right pressure. This is where one has to block out the world. Don't worry about your baby who is having to fend for herself on the couch with a pacifier while her dad uploads NPR to his Ipod. Don't fret that noone is cleaning the syrup off your 3 year old's hands before he rolls all over the couch. Ignore your oldest banging on the door and saying "is it my turn yet?" And dare to do what no mother of four has the time for anymore....SHAVE.

Shave your entire legs...that's right, not just from the knee down. Shave them twice. Shave things that don't need shaving. Keep shaving...because when your husband cracks the bathroom door and says "I really have to go to work now," the only thing that will prolong this moment of peace is to politely say, "I'm shaving." Husbands like that. They will allow you a few more minutes in the coveted shower. I promise. It works every time.

Memorial Weekend

Hope ya'll had a wonderful Memorial Weekend.

We had Billy's sister fly in for all the fun!

We went to our neighborhood waterpark.

Living the life!

My boys are fish! One minute J was bobbing in the waves, and the next...well, this....

He would pop up and do it all over again!

Isaac lives under water in the summer.
The child grew his gills when he was 18 months old and took his first swimming lesson.
He is amazing to watch!

Vivi is my bathing beauty. She got her tan back 10 minutes after we got there...wearing 70 spf!

Summer really is her month to shine!

Isaac rode ALL the water rides!

J and Isaac hopped on stage to work their mojo during the dance contest. I video taped.
It is hilarious!!!

Check out that DJ posin' in the background. So fun!

We filled up our hungry bellies that night with quesadillas,
a staple dinner in this house!

And ended our holiday weekend with brunch, board games, and taking Aunt Beth to the airport.
Now I just got to get my boys through their end of school parties in two weeks and our summer will officially begin!

Aunt and Auntie

This weekend we had Billy's sister here! We just dropped her off at the airport. She is so good with the kids, playing games and keeping them well behaved. She went to the waterpark with us and out for pizza one night and brunch this morning. Lots of fun!!

This was coming off of a week of having Billy's Aunt here.

Auntie Benja babysat while we went on datenights, went to the zoo and out to eat with us, folded laundry, did dishes...fed the baby at night...you name it, she did it! And we even went shopping for kid's clothes! Wow...check out all these cute outfits. We love you, Auntie Benja!

We love having family in town!

more food for thought....

Dark Girls Documentary Preview

Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.

Sweet Cheeks is 2 months old!

Jasmine's dr.'s appt. was today. She now weighs 9 lbs. and 10 ounces and she is 21 inches long! The nurse could not believe how much she has grown since she was there at 2 weeks old. I told her that she does not miss a meal!
She is cranky today because of her 3 shots so she took her photos with her pacifier.
I can officially say that after 2 months, the shock is finally wearing off!

She came home so fast with us not knowing if we would have a girl or a boy and when or what beautiful color our baby would be... that it has taken some time for me to stop thinking..."pinch me, am I really the Mama to an adorable black newborn baby girl?! and do I really have four kids? How did that happen?"

That is a blogpost for another day!

I don't know if it is because my boys were never babies in my home, or because I was very much expecting this baby to be a boy too...but I sometimes forget in a way that I have an African American daughter. I don't forget she is black or that she is mine...but just the concept. For instance, I was thinking that Vivi's dollhouse she is growing out of can be moved to Jasmine's room someday but then it occurred to me that the family in that dollhouse is white (we had debated getting the one with the black family but didn't), so now I am hoping I can just order the black family so we can mix and match our family members up a little bit in there! Also, at Christmas I have not focused much on searching for black images like angels because they were girls and I had boys...but now I will! Also, when we look at toys at the store it is even more blaringly obvious to me that no black faces greet me on the doll aisle.

My sweet friend Kimberly who is Creole and was raised in New Orleans sent me the preview to a documentary called "Dark Girls" which talks about the discrimination found within the black community from light skinned African Americans to dark skinned. It gave the example of Beyonce looking more and more white with her recent skin bleaching and blonde hair...the standard of beauty in this country. These kinds of issues didn't occur to me as much as the mother of boys...but now, as the mother of a dark chocolate skinned baby girl... it does.
As it should.

I have been questioned before about why we choose to focus so much on race. "What does it matter, we are all the same?" people have said. "Why bring it up? You are just teaching your kids to see color" I have also been told. Well...I do talk about it alot, yes. That is no secret. And the reason is because I believe it very much does matter. You see...we as White Americans can live in our "colorblind" world because we always have. We are not judged by the color of our skin. We are not discriminated against when we go shopping in a store. We do not have trouble finding Dr's and dentists and hairstylists of our same race. But some Black Americans do.

One does not teach kids to see color, they just see it. So to not talk about it serves no one. Maybe we air on the side of not making people uncomfortable, but that is not my goal. My goal is to make sure that my kids are always comfortable talking about it. So we dialogue, and we explore, and we learn about race relevant issues, and we educate ourselves about the history of blacks in America. And my kids will always know that, yes, of course I cannot understand firsthand what they go through out there, but I can listen and empathize, and be a place of advice and encouragement and information. Yes, white America...people DO still believe that those with lighter skin are superior to those with darker. It is true! And for those who do not proclaim that so loudly as others, the standard of beauty being light skinned, thin, and blonde is still very much there in the recesses of their subconscious. The idea of beauty was not such a concern to me before because I believe Vivi will easily be accepted into the gorgeous subcategory of society...she already is! But for Jasmine....she will have a bigger ladder to climb. And I hate that for her. I want her to be able to step out with a proud smile on her face knowing how fabulous she is. I am more sensitive to comments like "She is so dark already" and "look at all that hair! Wow!". These bother me because she is a girl. With boys, the comments that come natural to people focus on athletic prowess, height and weight, intelligence. With girls...it is appearance. White, black, brown...if you are a girl, you will have people focus on your appearance. It is just the way it is. I am not going to be able to change it. But I can be aware. I can seek information. I can be an advocate on behalf of my daughters.

So for as much as I can know, I will. And for as much as I can do on her behalf, I will. As much as I can set her up for success, I will. She is my precious brown skinned beauty. But most importantly, she is God's precious brown skinned beauty and that alone is where her worth will lie.

Preschool Carnival

I let Vivi's preschool borrow our Carnival decorations and games for their end of the year party.

Here is the cute bulletin board her teachers did in the classroom to commemorate the 3 year olds moving on to the 4's Pre-K next year.

I put together prize bags for Vivi's class.

Face painting!

Here is her class lined up and ready for games!

Her teacher's son, Josiah. So cute. :)

I made "popcorn" cupcakes!

I cannot believe my baby girl is going to be a Pre-K student in the Fall! Wow.
We will be going to our church's preschool, same days same hours...but still. :(

A Day at the Zoo

Billy's Aunt Virginia flew in for a week from Florida.
On Monday we got the kids out of school and took them to the zoo!

Isaac was the keeper of the map. He is a big fan of maps. ;)

There is a creek where the kids can splash. I brought a change of clothes for them so they could play and have fun.

Even on a rainy day, the zoo was full of field trips. Not many other people were there, though!

I love the stink eye this horse is giving the kids!

Billy pointed out that in this shot both the bird and Isaac are working the wing span!

If J were to be any animal at the zoo, he would be a tortoise. Slow and steady wins the race...

After we left, we went to the nearby themed McDonalds for icecream!