God Blessed The Broken Road

In just 5 days, this little guy will be legally free for adoption in the State of Texas.

Yesterday his caseworker brought us his file which is a stack of hundreds of papers...everything ever written or documented about him and all members of his birthfamily. I stayed up past midnight reading it and only got half way. Some of it reads as a narrative...On this date this allegedly happened, this person said this, this cousin or uncle was here or there. It is like J is not a person, but a player in a grand play where he is the one who gets the short end of the stick. Reading about the events that transpired that led he and the three brothers that came before him to in some way or another be raised by other people, was disheartening even though I knew alot of it already because it was also in Isaac's file. The most difficult thing to read is all the times CPS came to the home in J's little life, but each time chose not to remove him. The allegations of neglect and abuse when he was 8 months old, 15 months old, 2 years old....and how it was determined everytime that he was at "significant risk" in the home...but apparently not enough to be removed.

Reading this, I thought about our own timeline. Where were we when my son was 8 months old and I didn't even know he existed? What would have happened had CPS gained custody of him at birth? And it all leads me back to the same conclusion that he may have been placed with a foster family and not us had he been given a different caseworker than the one he had. That if J had come home any earlier than July 28, 2010....Jasmine would not be ours because we likely would have stopped with 3 kids, due to the expense of private adoption. What would have happened if at any point on this journey of life, I had gotten pregnant and given birth. I know for a fact if that had happened, some of the 4 children who are my very heartbeat would not be mine.

It leads me back to the conclusion that my body's brokenness was ALL a part of God's grander plan for every single member of my family. My empty womb opened up a place in my heart and home for the very children God had chosen. That this baby boy had to live in that broken home for 2 years and 6 months to be given the opportunity to be with us forever.

The Rascal Flatts song, Broken Road comes to mind as I contemplate these things...for myself and for my youngest son.


Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like Northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true...

This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you



To my precious children, those who have been adopted by us and those who will be very, very soon.

God blessed my broken road
That led me straight to you.

Jasmine Is 3 Months Old!

Awww...look at our baby girl growing up right in front of our eyes!! 3 months old is such a milestone! This is the month she will likely roll over, grab toys and bring them to her mouth, she may start sleeping longer stretches at night, she may officially move from a 4 ounce bottle to a 6 ounce bottle...we will see!!

She has really been enjoying these fists and her little baby dolls. Drooling on bald heads is SO much fun! P.S. I am always on the lookout for low price black baby dolls (i.e. no shipping), so let me know what you find!

So in honor of our little darling turning 3 months and having a full head of hair, I thought ya'll might enjoy a HAIR post!!

As you can see the Good Lord has given us much to work with.

My blog friend, Lane from Colorado sent Jasmine bottles of hair products she had tried and no longer used on her daughter. Many of them are practically full bottles!!! Thank you so much, Lane! I have been using the It's a Curl shampoo and conditioner. Nice stuff so far.


I spent Jasmine's first couple of months polling just about every African American mom with a baby daughter that I came across as to when they started to "do" their daughter's hair. I was interested in this information because 1) I am very aware that putting bands in your child's hair can lead to breakage and hair loss so of course you would not want to do that to pretty baby hair too soon BUT 2) the fact that my baby was already sporting a luscious amount of hair made me feel a bit self conscience about taking her out into the world all wild and crazy-like. Most of these moms said between 4-6 months old. They were all quick to point out though that their daughters did not have a full head of curls like Jasmine. I have come to notice that lots of African American girls have straight baby hair for awhile and then their curls form later in infancy. Also, bald patches and hair loss can be very common. Well so far, as you can see, we have not had any of those issues.
In anticipation of the fact that I would likely choose to do my baby's hair well before that 4 month mark due to the a fore mentioned full head of hair and due to the fact that it is important to begin to toughen your curly-headed child's scalp early so they can tolerate a lifetime of hair care (I started doing Vivi's hair at 3 months), I began to assemble my arsenal of hair care items and began my research on great blogs like, Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care .

And Happy Girl Hair ...while also getting style ideas from my friend's blog, Belle's Curls.

So currently this is where we are at!
(**Safety note, I do not leave her unattended in the Bumbo on a table, I promise!)
We have our wide tooth and fine tooth combs, in her signature color Royal Purple. ;)
We also have her pink caboodle (remember those!) filled with headbands and bows, soft fabric hair bands, a baby brush, and barrettes.



Because of her age, I have chosen not to use hair products but instead use Jojoba oil to soften her hair and moisturize her scalp and dry skin (like her ankles). I also use a spray bottle of distilled water that I will eventually mix the oil into when her hair becomes dryer.

The only style I do because of length are the puffs. This requires gently detangling the whole head with water, a bit of oil, and the wide tooth comb. Then I part it with the fine tooth comb.

At that point I decide on how many puffs her hair will need and part it accordingly as I go. As I gather the hair I need to put in a puff, I use the baby comb to flatten the curls into an upward motion. When she is older I will use a Boar's Head Brush like I use on the boys.

She does not cry about having her hair done, but will get watery eyes because of the gentle pulling, so her pacifier is a must for her comfort!

When it is done. I run my Jojoba oiled finger over all the parts to keep her head flake free!


And there ya have it!! The sides pull out by mid day so I typically just do her hair for our first outing and then pull them out by naptime. I have done her hair like this half a dozen times now and have had no hair loss or bald patches, so so far so good!

I hope you are less intimidated about doing your daughter's hair. Obviously this is so simple and I have SO much to learn about length and tangles and braids and beading and "co-washing" and sand and swimming and silk bedtime caps...whew! Are you sweating yet? Cause I am! But I am so very grateful for those white mama's who have paved the way for me with their brown baby girls and have taken the time to blog about it!!
If they can do it...we ALL can do it!!


My recommendation...do NOT wait until your baby is one or two to start doing their hair. Bad things have gone down with little girls who had not been trained and had their head toughened. Your African American daughter's reality is, she WILL have to have her hair done, for the rest of her life. And it does take lots of time and attention the longer it gets. But be sure to keep in mind your infant's hair texture before messing with it too much. You do not want to pull and tug on thin, fine hair. It will result in hair loss.

I will continue to blog about Jasmine's hair as life goes on and the length affords us new opportunities. I wanted to end by sharing this beautiful little picture montage that my friend Debbie did in reference to her daughter's hair. Thing of Beauty.

Jasmine's New Exercauser!

oooh...what's this mommy?

Those move? Wow!!

Hey, this is a neat new toy!

But....I am not being held when I am in this.
That makes me so sad.

Oh, but there is a lot to look at.
I can't wait until my feet touch the ground!

And I have this little friend, so maybe I like this after all!
Thank you, Daddy for putting my toy together!

Making the Most of Our Summer

Vacation Bible School's Creation Expo!

Eating dinner in the backyard

Wave pools

Splash Parks

Learning how to eat cherries with pits

Splash pads

Slip n' slides

Hope ya'll are enjoying your summer as much as we are!

The Last of Family Camp Pics

Smores around the campfire!

Isaac rode the very high in the sky Cliffhanger!

Western Night complete with Milkshake the Pony rides, Brisket dinner, and square dancing!

p

Isaac and Vivi enjoyed line dancing and square dancing late into the night!

The kids got to ride the firetruck around the property every night before dinner.

Jasmine at the worship time.

Camp was awesome! Every night we had worship, a speaker, and a theme like Skit night, Game night (minute to win it!!), and the Western Dance. The speaker talked about Broken Life Experiences, and how the church responds to those who go through them. I will have to share more about that later!!