Transracial Adoption Part 1

Isaac and Mommy

Pensacola Beach 2008

When the subject of adopting outside our race comes up, it is interesting to me the typical reaction people give. Most people seem to have no problem with white parents raising an Asian or Russian child adopted overseas, or a Hispanic or Native American child adopted right here in the U.S. But for some reason, when the topic of white parents adopting an African American child comes up- that is when the opinions fly. It is the common consensus that Caucasian parents cannot bring up an African American child to understand and appreciate their culture, or to understand racism. Therefor, it is unfair to even try. Somehow, as a society we think it is easier for people to learn about the Chinese culture, Mexican culture, or varying other ethnic traditions and backgrounds- and to incorporate them into their adopted child's upbringing- but not so with the African American culture.

I have to wonder if this is less a concern for our children being raised by white parents, and more of a bias toward this particular race- that of course one would never want to admit. It is important, however that we explore this as a family and with our children. It has come up, it will come up, and dealing with it head on seems to be the best choice.

When Billy and I spoke at our adoption agency about Transracial adoption, we knew we were speaking to 90% of couples that had already made up their minds that they wanted a white baby. I talked about how most couples go into adoption opposed to adopting an African American or biracial child, for 3 main reasons. These reasons are:

1) You don't want it to be so obvious that you adopted. No one wants a scarlet letter "I" stamped on their forehead announcing to the world they are infertile.

2) You have family members that would not be okay with this family dynamic

3) You wouldn't know a thing about how to do their hair, take care of their skin, and all the other areas of importance in raising a black child.

Are these valid reasons for turning away a child? And one has to ask themselves, if everyone felt this way, what would happen to these children? Where would they go? Because there simply are not enough African American adoptive parents available.

Can you not help educate your family members who are still living in the 1960's? Can you not learn how to care for your child's unique needs? We all have to learn how to care for a newborn from someone...how is this different?

The fact is, it is just easier to adopt within your race.

But who said God wanted us to take the easy route?

This is the question we wrestled with, and well...God won. Once He opened our hearts to stop the craziness that is trying to conceive, and began to open the door for us to adopt- He also worked in our hearts to kneel before him and open our arms to whatever child He had chosen. And boy, oh boy, did He pick a child for us! You can read that story HERE.

And the blessings of raising this boy have just overflowed.

The challenges, we know, lay ahead of us.

And this is what I will specifically explore in my next blogpost on this topic, so stay tuned!