Our Easiest Yet

At 2 months old, I think I have successfully weaned the baby off of being swaddled and rocked to sleep. The very first night we put her in her crib, we had her swaddled. She fell right to sleep. But we quickly noticed from a flat position, it was all too easy for her to bust her arms out of the swaddle and then squirm around causing a suffocation hazard. So, for the past few nights and days naps I put her to bed without the swaddle. It has helped to slide a lovey under her arms so her flailing hands have something to grasp. Her sleep sheep lulls her to slumber with the sound of ocean waves or rain. I often have to go in and put her pacifier back during the day because we don't do "cry it out" techniques. But after about 15 minutes of fussing for her pacifier, she will doze off and sleep for up to 3 hours. If her room is dark, I rock her for a few minutes and give her all her kisses and then lay her in the bed awake with the lovey and pacifier and she is asleep within minutes. At night she sleeps 6-7 hours. What an easy baby this one is!! The books say "quiet temperament babies" cry for about an hour total a day. Other than in the car, I am not sure she cries for 20 minutes a day! Vivi was an "Active Baby" and she would cry 3-4 hours total a day at this age. Oh...what torture!

And the other thing that has popped up in the last couple days is some serious drool!! She has been living in her bibs. And if she is mad in her carseat, she spits like a camel!
So bibs are stacked high and ready in this house!

Budgeting For A Family Of Six

This has been a blog post that I have gotten many requests for, but that I have found daunting to hammer out...because well it is involved and will be very, very long! I have talked about budgeting and saving money many times before on here. But, what I have not done is walk you through exactly how we do what we do.

When we got ourselves in major financial trouble the year after Vivi was born, we turned to our church's financial ministry and were connected with an elderly gentleman who had retired from making lots and lots of money, to help the church members learn how to balance and budget theirs. He was hardcore, ya'll...bringing me to tears at times as I had to let go of the "American Dream" that had been laid before me when I got my college degree. No... life was not about making the most money possible, buying a house and car, and acquiring stuff, stuff, and more stuff. The Lord used that time in my life to say "Let it go. Let go of everything you didn't get emotionally that you feel spending money will fill. Let go of feeling like you have to keep up with people you don't even really want to keep up with. Let go of needing things to satisfy, when only Christ alone can." So I did. We did. We sold our house and moved into a tiny two bedroom apartment with two kids that we lived in for 18 months. We have fond memories of that time when we hunkered down, I extreme couponed...and we carved away at our debt.

And you know what? Obeying the Lord was tough. But it came with SO many, many blessings. And we are still, 3 years later, crawling out of the hole. But the end is in sight. And one of the many blessings that have come about as a result of our financial stewardship has been that in 3 years, we have not incurred a single dime of more debt in any way, and have managed to pay off more than $10,000 of debt that once threatened to drown us.

So it CAN be done. We didn't do our money well with 2 kids, and we paid dearly for it. But we are now doing really well with 4 kids...so that just shows how far we have come! My husband works 2 jobs so I can be here to raise our kids. We stick to our budget. We don't have cable, flat screens, the latest vehicles or gadgets. I don't have a purse or shoe collection. Billy can't collect the guitars he wishes he could. We don't have Ipads or Iphones. We just can't. But our kids are very well dressed and they have amazing birthday parties...and even with all the sacrifices of not acquiring more stuff...we have found a lot more freedom and contentment in what we do have.

So onto the how of budgeting, planning, and paying off debt as a family of six!!

Our first step in working with our financial advisor, was to sell our house, (which we took lots of flack for amongst the American Dreamers in our life) sold furniture, and downsize in a big way. Any extra funds acquired during that step goes directly and fully to credit card debt.
Our second step was we cut up ALL credit cards, 3 total for us. We determined to never use credit again. We determined to never, never open a store credit card even with the allure of a discount or delayed interest payments...and believe me I have had to get attitude with some very pushy salespeople!! We only went back on that one time to buy a fridge when we moved, but paid it off before the interest incurred.

Our third step was to plan our budget around a Percentage Guide for Family Income that we got off of Crown Ministries website. Here you will see all of the free down loadable worksheets I will be talking about. These sheets are a vital part to doing this! The percentage guide is super important when doing your budget, so choose the one that represents your family size. You need to see how you are allocating your income and where. For instance, housing on all income levels should only be about 30% of what you take home after taxes. Many, many people use up 50% of their monthly income to their housing...keeping in mind that this includes your rent/mortgage AND utilities, housing taxes, AND home owner association/storage fees. We had close to 55% of our income going to housing expenses. What does this mean for you? You MUST downsize in some way to be able to make your budget work. Another important thing to point out with this sheet, 5% of your monthly income should always go into savings. Always. That is the only way you will remain out of debt.

Our fourth step was to do a 30 day spending diary, found here, where you and your spouse write down every single purchase you make and for what. This will be important when you are ready to create your budget sheet, so you will know how much money needs to go where and where cuts can be made.

Our fifth step was to create an "emergency fund" of $1000 working up to a savings of 3 months income. We have not gotten that far yet! This will allow you to tap into that fund for new tires, repairs, Dr.'s bills, and the like that pop up unexpectedly to which you would have normally used a credit card for. This is very important to stay out of creating more debt for yourself.

Our fifth step was to create our budget and to get to a balance that zeroed out. Meaning every single penny we make is allocated to a section of the budget. Cuts get made where they need to to buffer the more expensive items. This is our most important form and the exact budget sheets we use every single month is found, here. This budget is tight, as it should be. We choose to do cash only envelopes for gas, groceries, eating out, pets, medicine, gifts, and haircuts. We keep it them in a little white photo file box on our desk. Billy hits the bank at every paycheck and takes out he exact amount we need to fill the envelopes. This means that I spend the same amount of money on groceries every week, which requires me shopping with a list and a calculator. You have to be planful with the weekly ads, or coupons, or where you choose to shop. I have noticed if I shop off a menu for the week (including specific snacks)...I always have cash left over vs. when I just wander the aisles and hope for inspiration. I am hoping to become more disciplined with this over the summer.

Our sixth step was to fill out our Income allocation form found, here. This is where you allocate what paycheck will pay what bill/need and on what day of the month this will happen. We pay everything about 2 weeks before it is due.

Our last step is that we have a Freedom Account set up at another bank that we deposit a set amount from each paycheck into. This pays for birthday parties, holidays, Christmas, and vacations. We budget how much we are going to spend on each person at Christmas for instance, total that up and divide that by 12 months. That tells you how much cash beginning in January, you need to put each month into that account. Then when December comes, we pull out the money and get to shopping. We plan one to two vacations a year, plan how much it will cost us...and save the money up in the account. That way everything we spend money on...everything...is cash only.

This is just to get you going! There is so much more information on the Crown Ministries website. I have heard Moms say that they just can't afford to let go of a second income. But I argue that you can. Cuts will have to be made and you will have to have discipline in spending. I had a hard time of it for about 6 months. It felt SO restrictive, and sometimes still does. But we know that our value is not in what we get to purchase, it is the size of our family and the fact that we have made it possible for me to be home with our kids. You and your husband will have to do a real check as to what is of greatest value in your life...and be willing to let the rest go.

Phew! It took me two days to compose this post, but it is here and I pray will be of use to your families! You can click on the label below, Saving Money, for other posts I have written on this topic. And as always leave any questions you may have in the comments box.

Happy June 1st!

These are the activities we are counting down for.

7 more days of school....

End of Preschool

Vivi had her preschool performance yesterday which marked the end of school for her for the summer. She will go to our church next year as a Pre-K student!
One more year until kindergarten....wow.

She did really well in the performance.
She had all the moves down and I could hear her singing!

We went to Chick Fil A for dinner to celebrate.
It was their end of the school year party with free kids meals and other activities.
Lots of fun!

Our preschool graduate got an ice cream cone for dessert.

There was face painting!

And a bounce house!

Two more weeks of school for the boys and then finally it will be summer break!
We have lots planned....so we are ready!

Surviving Motherhood With Four

A sweet blog reader of mine emailed me and said she was requesting a post on being the mother of four children. I smiled at that because honestly, it doesn't always feel like I am the mother of four, or that four is all that many kids. I read blogs of moms who homeschool 6 and 7 kids! But I also know motherhood is not a competition to see who can have the most kids, do the most with those kids, etc. So...for us, four kids is plenty of children...and does take some organizing and planning on a daily basis. So I am going to start a series that I will post on as it comes to me, titled Surviving Motherhood With Four. This may actually inspire me to do what I have wanted to do for sometime...create weekly menus, a weekly cleaning schedule, chore charts for the kids, a Reading Routine, Exercise with the kids, and a set library day each week. We will see. Having to blog about it might be my motivation!
Which would be good because I still feel like I am treading water!

So to kick off my series...here is post One!

Showering as a Mother of Four
Something that occured to me when my youngest was about 2 weeks old, is that I could not remember when I last had a shower. As I sat there pondering this...I also tried to plan when I would be able to take a shower. Between feedings, school drop-offs and pick-ups, laundry, vacuuming, dog care, grocery shopping, and more...there was not a good time of day to shower. When I would think to myself, "shower at the end of the day" suddenly in would pop..."but the baby needs a bath, and in the morning I will have to bathe Vivi so her curls will be fresh for school, and then the boys need a bath before bed or in the morning....or right after dinner...and what about all the dirt dangling from Oscar's hiney, somebody is going to need to bathe him before he sits on the couch...ahhhh. Too many washings needed to get in before me! In the morning Billy showers while I pack lunches and fix breakfast. Then he is suddenly ready to leave for work right when I think I can pause from the morning mayhem to take a shower.

So...I have come to this very important conclusion:

A mother of four has to fight for her right to shower.

Noone is going to suggest you take a shower because then they would have to fend for themselves for the 7 minutes you are in there. They would rather put up with your greasy hair and body odor. It's true. So as a mother of four (or one or two), you will sometimes have to loudly announce to all that can hear "I am NOW taking a shower!"

Now in the beginning I would dash to get my towel, jump in while the water was still heating up, kick aside bath toys and hope I don't fall to my death, then hurriedly shiver through my routine of face wash,rinse,shampoo, rinse, conditioner, body wash, rinse, towel off, throw on my robe, and call myself the queen of speed showers.

Not anymore, people. This Mama has wised up. Now I leisurely choose the fluffiest towel, empty the tub of ALL child bath paraphenelia. Let the water fully heat up while I check out my roots in the mirror and wistfully remember the days when I could afford to be blonde. Then I step in and begin my routine, fixing the sprayer to just the right pressure. This is where one has to block out the world. Don't worry about your baby who is having to fend for herself on the couch with a pacifier while her dad uploads NPR to his Ipod. Don't fret that noone is cleaning the syrup off your 3 year old's hands before he rolls all over the couch. Ignore your oldest banging on the door and saying "is it my turn yet?" And dare to do what no mother of four has the time for anymore....SHAVE.

Shave your entire legs...that's right, not just from the knee down. Shave them twice. Shave things that don't need shaving. Keep shaving...because when your husband cracks the bathroom door and says "I really have to go to work now," the only thing that will prolong this moment of peace is to politely say, "I'm shaving." Husbands like that. They will allow you a few more minutes in the coveted shower. I promise. It works every time.

Memorial Weekend

Hope ya'll had a wonderful Memorial Weekend.

We had Billy's sister fly in for all the fun!

We went to our neighborhood waterpark.

Living the life!

My boys are fish! One minute J was bobbing in the waves, and the next...well, this....

He would pop up and do it all over again!

Isaac lives under water in the summer.
The child grew his gills when he was 18 months old and took his first swimming lesson.
He is amazing to watch!

Vivi is my bathing beauty. She got her tan back 10 minutes after we got there...wearing 70 spf!

Summer really is her month to shine!

Isaac rode ALL the water rides!

J and Isaac hopped on stage to work their mojo during the dance contest. I video taped.
It is hilarious!!!

Check out that DJ posin' in the background. So fun!

We filled up our hungry bellies that night with quesadillas,
a staple dinner in this house!

And ended our holiday weekend with brunch, board games, and taking Aunt Beth to the airport.
Now I just got to get my boys through their end of school parties in two weeks and our summer will officially begin!