
This is the latest book to hit the Transracial Adoption resource pool. It is written by Amy Ford who with her partner have adopted 3 African American daughters. She lives in Austin, TX and sent me a copy of the book, which at a mere 97 pages- I was able to read in two days. Each chapter is only a few pages long so it would be easy to read in short increments.
What I love about this book is that she begins by really exploring if Transracial Adoption is right for you. There is a questionnaire to assess your knowledge of the African American culture, grooming, etc. but most importantly your willingness to seek guidance and help along the journey of raising a black child. She talks about things that a Transracial family ought to do: like finding a culture camp to send your child to (along with doing your own research of their culture), a support group with other people of color within the group, and what I liked the most was- seek opportunities for
you as the parents to be the minority. We have done this by attending Juneteenth celebrations every summer and MLK Jr. parades in January.
I really liked the inclusion of a list of common Transracial parenting mistakes written by Dr. Willie B. Garrett. The ones that stood out to me are: #4 Allowing Others to Intrusively Touch or Violate Your Child's Boundaries. Often times strangers want to touch black kids hair and skin- I think they actually do it more to our families because we are white and they think they can cross that boundary. I cannot imagine that white strangers walk up to black families and manhandle their kids...but maybe they do! The book suggests having a set response of "sorry but I do not allow anyone to touch her hair." The other one I liked was #6 Not Challenging Racism. Dr. Garrett says, "Racism today is less aggressive and tends to be "invisible" in the forms of attitude, voice tone, body language and posture, or institutional practices. Parents must be alert to disparate treatment and advocate on their child's behalf." I had to do this in reference to a substitute teacher Isaac had this semester. I won't go into the details, but Billy and I felt clearly that her day long mistreatment of Isaac had something to do with her bias towards him being the only black child in the class. I addressed this with the assistant principle that very afternoon.
In Brown Babies, Pink Parents the author also spends a chapter talking about "white privilege". She says that as a society, "We are conditioned to believe white is better, richer, cleaner, and more desirable." This is perpetuated in media, in schools, in virtually every single facet of society and the author points out that white privilege is the "undeserved advantages I am automatically given based on my skin color." It is a real issue whether we white people want to acknowledge it or not. I wish she had spent more than two pages on this important topic as I believe white people have to sometimes be convinced that this is a real problem. She did reference an article that can be accessed online titled, Unpacking the Invisible Knapscack by Dr. Peggy McIntosh. I intend on reading this soon.
Amy Ford goes on to discuss self esteem and identity, finding role models, how to care for your child's hair and skin, going in great detail on this, which I so appreciated! She warns against the Four S's with black daughters: Sandboxes, Swimming, Sleepovers, and Self Styling. You will have to get the book to read her informative and hilarious take on why you must be cautious about your daughter partaking in these activities!
My favorite quote from the book is found on page 36, "While I see each daughter as a miracle from God, the world sees them as little black girls. Someday the world will see them as black women, but the bigger question is, how will they see themselves?"
As you probably guessed it- I highly recommend this book to ALL of those who have been blessed to be pink parents of brown babies, and to those praying to one day be.
Amy Ford has graciously offered a signed COPY OF THE BOOK to one lucky reader! So please visit her website www.brownbabiespinkparents.com and leave a comment here to enter to win! You can just enter your name under name/url in the comment box. You do not have to have an account or leave an email to enter.
The winner will be drawn and announced next Monday, May 16th.
And come back tomorrow for Day 2 of my Blog Giveaways!