health update

i am writing this in bed because i know many of you are concerned about my health (and lack of blogging or responding to emails and phone calls). my health has not improved so billy's aunt vicki flew in on saturday to held me for the week as he is currently in pittsburgh until wed for business. today i had the most severe vertigo and so she drove me to the dr. who gave me a shot in my rear to stop the room from spinning. my mother in law said vertigo can come with anemia and being that i have had all the other symptoms of anemia, i believe that is what it is. basically i have had a cycle that has lasted for more than 50 days without ceasing, even with the use of progesterone. the dr. took my blood today and said if the anemia is extreme, i will have to go to the hospital for an iv. i am going tomorrow to the gyn for my tests and possible the scheduling of a D and C procedure. This scares me very much. i am also sooo sad that i had to miss my boys valentines parties. aunt vicki took up all the supplies but not being there to do it is such a huge let down as i love valentines days and parties. having aunt vicki here is a huge blessing and has helped me from spiraling down into severe sadness and self pity. at church yesterday, our pastor said "if God is willing to heal you. He will. But He also may not. And there is nothing you can do to earn or deserve it. He allows suffering even in those He loves for His purposes." I hope that I can find strength in the knowledge that God is very near to me, Jesus was acquainted with our grief and sorry and has laid upon Himself our iniquities. I know this too shall pass and then I will be back in the game of life again.