The last day of August, it rained....lightly...for all of 5 minutes. The little ones begged to put their boots on and raincoats to go out into the "rain". Thankfully, Billy had let all the water out of their pool that morning, so we could dry it and pack it away until next summer. So their puddles consisted of old dirty pool water. But, hey they got their day in the rain!
This got me reflecting on the hot and draining month of August I had survived in TX, for another year. This month was by far my hardest in all of 2011. Not only was the weather stifling, which kept me indoors with 4 kids who were stir crazy, but I was also dealing with my own "junk" as I call it.
This month I had to face relational grief over a friendship that ended in a shocking and hurtful way. I was dealing with my own angst connected to my birthday (whew! So glad that is over...never been my favorite day of the year) AND I have been struggling with a severe case of Mommy burnout. I was burned out with cleaning, dishes, laundry, tattle telling, organizing...and on and on. Days turned into weeks with no end in sight. We do not have a reliable source of babysitting for our four kids and this left me completely drained as I spent every waking moment with at least one of my little blessings underfoot. August is our most expensive month for bills and school starting expenses, so money has been very tight. Personal sin, laziness, and selfishness have all reared its ugly head. Impatience and discontentment have been my cry.
The dust has collected in my house and in my heart as I felt like I was just treading water most days. And that is just a snippet of the junk I have struggled with in the hot, hot month of August.
A desert experience in my soul, for sure.
But with the rain...often comes a fresh cooler breeze. And that breeze for me has come in the form of sweet healing conversations with some dear friends (Oh, how therapeutic a good friendship is to the soul), starting my Mom's Bible study (more on that later), a long awaited date night with my husband tonight, a birthday lunch and cheesecake that a wonderful friend picked me up and took me too. A long lost close friend who has come back into my life...we have picked up like it has not been 6 years since we spoke...but just 6 days! Plus, the wonderful gift of a twice a month housecleaning (through Thanksgiving) paid for by my in-laws...which I am hoping to be able to schedule someone soon! I also have a visit from my mother-in-law to look forward to this month, celebrating Vivi's adoption day, and a sweet friend who has offered to come over and keep my kids ALL day on a Saturday while I have time to myself.
The Lord has taught me much during this dry season in my life where I of course grumbled and complained...and felt oh so sorry for myself. One of those lessons has been the truth that "this too shall pass". Those things that feel suffocating one day, have a way of working out. And the all important lesson that my God continues to speak to me is, "He will provide."
And He absolutely always does.
This month I had to face relational grief over a friendship that ended in a shocking and hurtful way. I was dealing with my own angst connected to my birthday (whew! So glad that is over...never been my favorite day of the year) AND I have been struggling with a severe case of Mommy burnout. I was burned out with cleaning, dishes, laundry, tattle telling, organizing...and on and on. Days turned into weeks with no end in sight. We do not have a reliable source of babysitting for our four kids and this left me completely drained as I spent every waking moment with at least one of my little blessings underfoot. August is our most expensive month for bills and school starting expenses, so money has been very tight. Personal sin, laziness, and selfishness have all reared its ugly head. Impatience and discontentment have been my cry.
The dust has collected in my house and in my heart as I felt like I was just treading water most days. And that is just a snippet of the junk I have struggled with in the hot, hot month of August.
A desert experience in my soul, for sure.
But with the rain...often comes a fresh cooler breeze. And that breeze for me has come in the form of sweet healing conversations with some dear friends (Oh, how therapeutic a good friendship is to the soul), starting my Mom's Bible study (more on that later), a long awaited date night with my husband tonight, a birthday lunch and cheesecake that a wonderful friend picked me up and took me too. A long lost close friend who has come back into my life...we have picked up like it has not been 6 years since we spoke...but just 6 days! Plus, the wonderful gift of a twice a month housecleaning (through Thanksgiving) paid for by my in-laws...which I am hoping to be able to schedule someone soon! I also have a visit from my mother-in-law to look forward to this month, celebrating Vivi's adoption day, and a sweet friend who has offered to come over and keep my kids ALL day on a Saturday while I have time to myself.
The Lord has taught me much during this dry season in my life where I of course grumbled and complained...and felt oh so sorry for myself. One of those lessons has been the truth that "this too shall pass". Those things that feel suffocating one day, have a way of working out. And the all important lesson that my God continues to speak to me is, "He will provide."
And He absolutely always does.
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1 friends commented!:
Very rough month for me as well.
So glad that there has been some much needed rain in your desert. Praying that God continues to blow away the dust and bring a renewed strength to you in every way you need.
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