Surgery Tomorrow

**Update: I stayed in recovery all day yesterday and was discharged at 5:30pm. While I was asleep my blood pressure was registering at 200 so I think they wanted to keep me since I was also so out of it. My pain is being managed every 3 hours. Today I can feel the incisions and my fallopian tubes are very crampy. I am also having difficulty emptying my bladder. But other than that, things are good and I am gaining my strength back. Tonight I  may attempt to make pumpkin pie and cranberry sauce for tomorrow, although I doubt anyone will really let me do much! Right now the kids are with their Nana at Wreck It Ralph and Jasmine is having a fun afternoon with our pastor and his family. 

I have felt your prayers and I appreciate them very much.
I was emotional yesterday morning before leaving for the hospital, but have been good ever since. The pain distracts me from feeling too sorry for myself which is really a blessing. I know that this was a milestone in my life, becoming officially barren, but I also rest in the peace that it is all a part of God's plan for me. I have a hope and a future that doesn't have time to be bothered with menstrual problems.

Thankyou friends for following along on yet another journey in my life.



 

Tomorrow I will go under the knife to have a tubal ligation. Today was my pre-op appointment and they had me do a pregnancy test....AGAIN. When I handed the pee cup over to the nurse I said, "This will be the final negative pregnancy test I have to take in my lifetime!" All the nurses laughed when I said it was the end of an era and I should take a picture. It was nice to be able to laugh about it.

I joked with my family about what if I got the call this afternoon that said the test was positive! What a shock that would be.

 K said,

 "Yeah you would tell them that came about 5 kids too late." 

Such a funny boy. 

My mother in law is here to help with the kids.

I feel blessed to be surrounded with such love. 

I am nervous about my recovery, but I am not nervous about the finality of the procedure. Though having to sign all the waivers today that assured them that I understand this will make me sterile and not allow me to ever be pregnant was a bit surreal.

 I mean what barren woman wants to sign off on her fertility?

My sweet friend Maile (T's mom) is taking me to the hospital and staying with me during the surgery. We were joking the other day that to pass the time she would tell me all about the story of birthing her son.

The irony.

We laughed really hard at that.

It is so refreshing to have a friend who gets it even when she has not been down the same road.

The worst part of this all is the cost. Even with insurance it is ridiculous. And at this time of year...not good. 

But we know that the same God that has provided all these years for all of our needs will also provide in this way. 

He will meet me in my sadness.

He will meet me in my worry.

He will meet me in my anxiousness.

He will be there as He has always been.

That is how I will get through tomorrow.