Memories

Today Isaac and I were able to talk briefly about adoption. I never know when these conversations will come up or how.

But they are always a treat for this mother's heart when they do.

He saw a picture of Billy and I in a magnet on the fridge (not the above shot-I'll explain this one later). Here is what was said:

Isaac: "Mom where was I in this picture?"

Me: "You hadn't come home yet."

Isaac: "Were you so sad that you didn't have a baby."

Me: "Yes, Mommy was so very sad that I couldn't have a baby in my tummy."

Isaac: "But then you adopted me!"

Me: "Oh yes! It was the happiest day of my life when they handed you to me. I thought to myself, look at this beautiful brown skinned baby boy all for me and Dad to love!"

Isaac (smiling really big now): "And did you show me to Grandma?"

Me: "Oh yes, she said 'he is so adorable!'

Isaac: "Did I try to run away?"

Me: "Oh no, you could only crawl, but you stayed right by my side. You needed a Mommy too."

He scampered off to play with a warm smile on his face and I smiled too.

I went back to look at the photos taken during our infertility struggle and there were hardly any of us. I think I just didn't have it in me to smile and pose. The above shot was taken at a pumpkin patch 6 months into trying to conceive. My sister was in her third trimester with her first child and we took pics of them with her swollen belly all happy, awaiting the arrival of her Christmas baby. There would be no Christmas baby for us...no Christmas pregnancy either. And my heart began to break.

I had no idea that it would be another 16 months from the time that picture was taken, that my son would finally come home. I certainly had no idea that just about 2 short weeks before we went to that pumpkin patch that October day in 2004, he had already entered this world! But the Lord knew. And he told my tender heart to WAIT...wait for what is to come. Wait for the little one I have chosen for you. Wait to see how wonderful it will be.

And we waited...

And it was.