I interrupt my scheduled programming of Baby Jasmine Is About To Be One posts because today is THE day that this has to be said. Those of you long time readers of my blog and any of you who follow me on Facebook know that I am passionate, passionate about race issues. I have blogged at length before on this topic as can be read here if you scroll past Jasmine and her hair!
So...if you are reading this from the U.S., you have to have heard about the murder of Trayvon Martin. Shot and killed in February because he was walking to a friends house at night, alone, unarmed, with nothing on him but an iced tea and some candy. Why was he killed? Because he was seen as a threat to a man on neighborhood watch.
Why would a teenager minding his own business be seen as a threat many have wondered.
Trayvon Martin is a black male.
Who wore a hoodie and walked alone in the dark.
That is why he was seen as a threat.
Period.
This story has been ALL over the news, our president even weighed in on the tragedy. Over 2 million signatures have made the petition to have Trayvon's killer arrested...the most in the website change.org's history. That's right... this man who stole a teenager's life away has not been arrested yet because of the deep seeded racism that prevails.
You can sign the petition to assure that happens here.
I believe he WILL be arrested and prosecuted.
But what does this have to do with any of us? Kids are killed all the time in gang violence and other means, why has this "random black boy's" death been so impactful to so many people? I wondered that myself. But I know God's hand must be upon the media attention this has brought about. There is something brewing that has got to come from all of this.
It is a fact that this story has particularly taken the adoption blogging world by storm.
And that is where I come in.
Like thousands of families in this country, my sons...
my precious boys look like this:
Adorable, aren't they?Everyone thinks so.
But one day these precious boys will be looked at with suspicious eyes.
Their presence will no longer light up a room of white faces when they enter, but will suck the air out of it.
Adults and children alike will divert their eyes and cross the street when they come walking down it. When they go into a store, they will be followed sometimes. When they are pulled over by a police officer for running a stop sign, they will not be given a routine ticket and told to "have a nice day"...they will be suspected of having drugs or weapons in the vehicle. In a job interview, they may be suspected as having a felony. If they raise their voice or get angry as everyone does, they will be seen as a stereotype. And it won't matter what they are wearing or what they are driving, or what college education they have acquired.
OR even that their momma and daddy are white.
Why is this so?
Because both of my sons will be viewed as the biggest threat to upper class white society.
A big black man.
I have talked about white privilege before here.
And I had a few hateful commenters that tried to deny that this existed, even a blog stalker who left the worst racial slurs in comments. Thankfully I tracked down who she was and where she lived and contacted her. I have not heard from her since.
I said to her and I will say it again, that under NO circumstance will I ever again publish those on my blog...so take your bigotry somewhere else.
What I will do is give you this to read.
This is a blog written by a black dad who knows he will have to teach his five year old son very soon about how society will view him one day...and how he is to behave accordingly. It was very eye opening for me to read. I also once again have to commend the popular author, speaker, and blogger, Jen Hatmaker for her incredibly poignant blog on this topic where she writes an open letter to Trayvon's Mama. It is moving beyond words. I wanted to capture some of it here for those of you who won't take the time to go over there to read it:
Jen Hatmaker says,
"I nonchalantly enjoyed my white privileges my entire adult life, one of those people who said “racism is dying” and “things are different now” and “we’re colorblind” and casual ignorance like that...
But then we decided to adopt two children from Ethiopia, and in November 2010, as I was shopping for their very first care package to send over, I was standing in the middle of the Target toy aisle, and I sent out this SOS text:
Where are all the black baby dolls?
I sat down in the middle of Target and cried my eyes out.
How did I never notice this? How was this my first sense of outrage over this discrepancy? How could I have yammered about the end of racism and “a fair system” when evidence to the contrary was staring me in the face every single day?
I never understood the systemic racism that persists in this country, because I didn’t have to. The system is structured to grant me privileges and power through no merit of my own; simply by virtue of my skin color. This same system denies and protects this oppressive hierarchy, conditioning white people to not even see it.
I casually consumed my white privileges – these unearned assets that granted me the benefit of the doubt and free passes and guaranteed security and permanent insider status – assuming that anyone else, anyone, could enjoy these same advantages by making good choices and working hard.
But it is simply not true, because the same system that keeps me on top keeps you on bottom.
Please know that as for me, I promise to do the hard work and ask the hard questions and enter the difficult places to turn the tides for my son and all the black sons, and I grieve that it is too late for yours. I hope the national outcry for Trayvon has comforted you; so many of us see him. We are hungry for a better world where our boys can walk down the street unafraid and unfeared.
Please accept my hand; I stand with you, two moms demanding more for our sons. I am sorry you’ve lost Trayvon, my sister. I’m so very sorry. May his legacy help us move into a wider space together, tearing down walls and stereotypes and fear and building communities where we truly love our neighbor once again."
Please go to her blog and read it in it's entirety.
~Jen Hatmaker has once again put incredible words to what all of us white moms of black kids have felt and are feeling in the face of this tragedy.
We cannot turn a blind eye to this anymore.
We can't.
We are ALL of us responsible for how this is going to change things moving forward, and I believe it will. I do not naively believe that Trayvon's life lost will thereby make my sons' lives more safe. No. That will not happen. But I do believe that his life and legacy will open BIG doors of conversation for this nation to begin to have about the realities of racism and stereotypes and freedoms that some are given naturally and others are denied simply due to their skin pigmentation. Education brings awareness.
And awareness brings on change.
THIS is a conversation we all need to have.
Will you join with me in discussing this?
So many white people avoid race talk in an attempt to come across as tolerant.
We don't need tolerance, we need education!
If you spend anytime with me you will soon hear issues of race quickly come up in conversation and it is okay to join in. PLEASE join in. Please show me that my kids matter.
Please acknowledge that they are indeed black. It is okay. Because they are.
Please do not say foolish things like we are all the same in the sight of God and race doesn't matter or I will rightly question that you do not understand the beauty of God's choice in the creation made in His image. I will not call them cute little names like "chocolate" or refer to them as my "brown kids" in an attempt to dial down their "blackness".
They are African Americans.
They are Black Americans.
Please do not act like their blackness is something to be overcome or ignored.
Society will not ignore them.
And that lately has become my biggest fear.
When I sent my tiny son off to the school bus this morning and watched him scamper across the street, I prayed that no one would illegally come whipping around the bus (as a car did a few weeks ago) and hit my baby. I prayed that the bus driver would smile at him and that the kids would want to sit by him. And I choked up when I waved goodbye.
Because I can't protect them from being black.
I can't.
But I can pray. And I can speak out on these issues and hope that my words and story will make a difference in someone's heart who may not have thought about it that way before. So I will SPEAK UP and I will PRAY HARD.
I will pray that my precious boys will not share the same fate as another mom's son did because of skin color.
That is what I can do.
What will YOU do?
Posts
14 friends commented!:
My husband and I had a very similar conversation last week when we were called to take an African American newborn last week (foster care) that will most likely be up for adoption. Sadly, we didn't end up getting him (not for lack of trying-it was a "system" thing)....But in the 24 hours we thought he would come to us-we were already thinking of the sad state of racial discrimination in our world.
Very interesting. I don't think I could articulate a very good comment at this point. I grew up in a very racist place. I moved across the country and sort of "did battle" with the issue over the years. My friends in my new home were white, brown, and black. I encountered some scorn from my own family and tried hard to counter their racism. I imagine I'm a lot like Jen when it comes to not even seeing the biases that still exist and the inequalities. The issue is so complex and "truth" can sometimes be ugly. I dealt with the issues of race a whole lot closer to home last year and was honestly shocked at the depth of racism I encountered. My heart still hurts over it. I appreciate your post and the dialogue that's now taking place, though it griefs me that the cause was so horrific.
I do love that you are willing to put this subject front and center, despite the sensitive nature. As a mom of biracial kids, there are so many times I just bite my tongue when people make racist comments or ingorant assumptions, so as not to 'rock the boat' or bring any additional attention to my kids about their skin color. Thank you for sharing your heart on this!
Well said and Amen. I am going to go sign the petition and read the links you have. I would add that in the discussion of racism don't forget to include other races too. My children are Asian (adopted from Korea) and there IS racism against Asians and Latinos as well. It is not just a black/white issue. I agree that as a society we need to be more open, much more open, to discussing race and prejudice in general (against different religions, disabled people, etc.)
Carrie T.
Carrie~ Thank you for leaving a comment! Of course I understand that racism is alive within all cultures. Have you seen the movie Crash? The subject matter in that plot is that everyone has biases and stereotypes even within the same people group. My point of this post was not to talk about racism, but to discuss the fact that black boys are seen as a threat once they grow into men and that in light of this tragedy...we need to all consider the issues of white privilege.
Indeed very interesting. Once I lived in the US, and am now a resident in de Caribbean, where the majority of the island is black (although very mixed with whites, Chinese and latino's). I am white, my husband is brown and my (adopted) son is latin (from the US). Over here, racism is a BIG issue, but the other way around! The non-blacks are being discriminated (even by the Government). I do understand the privilege of whites in some country's but I have to agree with Carrie T that there is racism everywhere against all races. But as a little family of 3 (all different races) people can see that our love doesn't discriminate...
Laurie is not in any way saying that racism is only towards one race.
I pray you are right that God's hand is on this attention and something somehow, somewhere will start to change.
And I pray that as white moms of biracial and black children God gives us the words we need to stand up for our children when others do not.
George Zimmerman hasn't been arrested because he shot Trayvon under the "stand your ground" law. However, in 2010, Trevor Dooley shot David James, using the same law as his defense. He was arrested.
I bet you can tell me the difference.
Yes, Dooley is Black, and James was White.
http://chittisterchildren.wordpress.com/2012/03/22/youve-heard-of-trayvon-martin/
I was waiting to see if you had some perspective on this tragedy. It was heartening to read your thoughts. There are so many things I could write. I really don't know where to begin. This did not have to happen. Trayvon should not be dead. I don't think it's all about race, but there are so many racial elements to it, that it is impossible to talk about it without mentioning race. Zimmerman thought he was suspicious because Trayvon was walking down a sidewalk. That's it. He wasn't doing anything else shady, just walking. Seeing that made him call the police. Had Zimmerman just called the police, Trayvon probably would have been questioned, he would have been annoyed and his parents would have been angry, but he would still be alive. I don't think Zimmerman wanted to kill a black kid when he woke up that morning. I think he's an idiot, who tried to punk a young black kid because he thought he didn't belong in the neighborhood. As sad as the death is, the other racial element comes in with the lack of arrest. I don't think some people understand that's where the anger comes from. An unarmed teenager is dead and the shooter is free and uncharged. There is no part of me that believes there could be a shooting under the same circumstances and the black teenager or adult would not be arrested. For the same reason Zimmerman saw a black teenager simply walking and thought he was up to no good, the police were willing to take the word of Zimmerman and decided Trayvon was up to no good. It's been a month and there is no arrest. That is shameful. In this country, you are innocent until proven guilty. But when a shooter doesn't even have to have a trial, when the state does not even try to prove guilt, there is something grievously wrong with the justice system and the value or lack thereof placed on some people. I strongly believe had Zimmerman been arrested shortly after the killing, we would never know about this story. People are killed on purpose and on accident everyday. It's the obvious miscarriage of justice that has inspired marches and rallies around the country. I would also say the resounding silence from many white evangelical parishoners and churches has been very telling. It speaks to some many issues that really requires another blog post and I don't want to threadjack. Thank you for posting Laurie.
THANK you for your feedback...yes there are many issues surrounding this which is why I was trying to stick to the known facts about this case in reference to black boys everywhere, and not talk about racism in general. It is a BIG problem that this country faces and I for one applaud the media attention this case has received. As for the reports coming out of Trayvon not being such a "good kid"...I am sure no one disputes that he probably had some problems as many teenagers do. But that does not mean he deserved to be suspected of misconduct because he was black and in a hoodie OR that he deserved to lose his life. Bottom LINE: Had Zimmerman stayed in his car and let the cops handle it, Trayvon would likely still be alive today.
I didn't express myself well. I agree with what you are saying, Laurie, and just added a few thoughts of my own. Thanks for bringing up the discussion of white privilege. This is something we need to be much more aware of and it is so easy to not be, as a white person. I am praying for Trayvon's family and for the whole situation too--for justice to occur.
Carrie T.
Great blog it is sad that racism still exist and I wonder will we ever get past it and why is it still hanging on? I have a bi-racial niece I worry for her too. My husband and I happen to be foster parents of two little boys who we ended up adopting and later their brother came along.. They are white however they could have been green and we still would have loved them every bit as much!
There are those who think because they were "foster children" they will be thugs or maybe my oldest already is. How do we get them past any of this?
I will keep praying and keep loving them and hopefully they themselves will chose not to judge others for any reason!
Saw your blog on the linky party - so thought I would pop by to check you out. What a great blog and it is nice of you to stand up for your children - your children must be proud of you. I am a mother of bi-racial children but they look white, the problems only occur when they give their names! We are muslim and my children have traditional muslim names - Last time I was at the opticians the optician came out and shouted out my son's name and looked straight past him - he was not expecting a white boy! They fortunately don't get much abuse because they look white - but when people hear the word 'muslim' or their names then that is when the comments can come! I am like you in that we will talk about discrimination to our children and peoples differences and that all should be respected but unfortunately not all children get this guidance from their parents because the parents haven't realised that this issue needs to be discussed until something happens. Keep up you good blogging, I am glad I found your blog. Karima
Very brave things that need to be said.
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