Celebrate!

Three years ago today we stood in a McKinney courtroom and a judge announced our baby girl as our forever daughter. How this child has changed our family! I cannot imagine her sweet face and big hair and fiesty personality not greeting me every morning. In the past year she has become a bit of a Daddy's girl for the first time. After dropping her off at school today, I will be going and getting her traditional cookie cake and gift, and I will post photos of our festivities tonight!

A Lesson in Advocating For Our Foster Child

Here is J working with his ECI therapist on some sensory issues. This child can. not. stand. having anything on his hands or clothes or face. So she is working with him finger painting w/pudding. He was hesitant and asked several times for a napkin, but we pushed through!

I post this because today we have had major drama trying to advocate for this child. This Thursday, as in 3 days, was his scheduled oral surgery to take care of his cavities. However, over the weekend both he and I became sick. He is always sick, so it was no big surprise there...but being that I am feeling like total junk, I knew something was up. So I took him to the Dr. and when they confirmed he has Strep throat and that we would have to cancel his surgery, I broke down in tears, explaining to the Dr. that I need this baby to get this surgery...he is in pain, daily. So to shut me up, he hastily prescribes codeine to numb his pain and says "sorry, you will have to reschedule." In tears I drive straight to my dr. and beg them to take me without an appt. After an hour in the waiting room with a 3 and 2 year old who are now officially bouncing off the walls, they swab my throat for strep and nasal passages for flu (that was not cool). Lo and behold, I have strep too! So I start crying for the second time in the second dr's office of the day saying "I can't be sick, I have 3 kids and so much to doooo!" meanwhile the kids are systematically destroying magazines in the corner. He was much kinder than the medicaid pediatrician, no surprise there. He offers me a penicillin shot in my rear or pills. I opt for the pills. Meanwhile, Billy has left work at noon and heads over to the pharmacy to get J's antibiotic. The dr. never called it in. So that sends my devoted husband into a tizzy calling up the dr's office to see what is the deal. I in turn cancel his surgery both with the hospital and and the dentist. They also inform me that October is already full so it would have to wait until November. She sends me on a wild goose chase to find another oral surgeon who will do it sooner and that also accepts medicaid. That surgeon is booked til November too. So after crying to the 3rd dr. of the day...which at this point is really aggravating my symptoms...I hung up the phone dejected. Meanwhile, my amazing husband is working miracles to get J a penicillin shot today, so that the dr. will clear him for surgery. Why the pediatrician did not give me that option when I was there this morning is beyond me! So as I rest on the couch with my first two of 4 pills a day of Amoxicillin flowing into my stomach, Billy is at the dr. again with J (after taking Vivi to her dr. an hour ago, to confirm her symptoms are just a cold...lovely) to get his shot and to await the Dr. filling out a form to confirm J can get his surgery. Whew!! I am SO tired and emotionally drained today. Billy said to me that this is proof that we are the ONLY ones who will advocate for this child, and sometimes you have to pitch a fit to get anything done. We are praying that he does not have a reaction to the shot, that the dr. will fill out the form correctly this time, and that the dentist can keep his surgery set for Thursday. Drama is no fun...but it is way worse when you are sick yourself. Please keep praying for our little guy. We need this surgery to take place this Thursday!

School, Prayer, and Church

Isaac has been learning some real life lessons this school year. He told me that they do a moment of silence after the pledge. I told him why, "a long time ago, kids used to pray in school but then some people who were not Christians didn't think it was fair, so they took prayer out. Then the Christians said 'that's not right', so the Moment of Silence is supposed to please everyone." I told him that as a Christian, that moment can be used to quietly pray to God for your day, your teachers, your family. This was followed by a talk about evangelism in school and how you don't know who is a Christian and who is not...we reviewed his memorization verse of John 3:16 and I said "For God so loved the teachers and children in your school, that He gave His one and only Son..." He mentioned a child who misbehaves a lot in class and said "Mom, maybe he doesn't know about Jesus." and I encouraged him to befriend him and tell him that God loves him too. Isaac's favorite thing to tell other kids (even strangers at the Mcdonald's playground) is "Did you know that God never breaks his promises?!" I love it. I followed up with him a couple days later and asked if he had chosen to pray during his Moment of Silence, and he said no." Ok", I said. But then on Tuesday, when I picked him up he said, "Mom, I prayed at school today!"

We also had a chance for a lesson in integrity a week or so ago. Isaac came home all excited saying he got in trouble for swinging his lunch box and banging it together with another kid in line, but that at the end of the day the teacher forgot to move his clip. I explained to him that I would rather he not have a perfect behavior chart, then to be dishonest and that next time he needs to remind the teacher that she is said she wanted to move his clip. I said "Isaac, doing the right thing is more important than the consequence of getting in trouble." The next day he went up to the teacher and told her. She said she was so impressed that he was honest, that she would keep his sticker on his chart. He was happy about that!

We have been talking a lot about "doing the right thing". I give him "what would you do" scenarios to so we can talk about what might come up at school. Like "What would you do if...your neighbor dropped all their pencils on the floor...your best friend bullies another kid on the playground...you see someone take something that belongs to someone else..." that has been a fun exercise for us in making good choices.

Billy and I decided that at almost 6 years old, it was a good time to get Isaac his first real Bible. I bought him this one yesterday after I heard some great reviews about it:

It has all the Bible verses just like an adult Bible but in easier language and some illustrations and charts that appeal to kids. It has a chart of the main characters in the Old Testament, the ten commandments written for kids to understand, and several others. It also has Isaac's favorite part...the maps in the back! He will begin the discipline of taking his Bible with him to church and Awana now, and I will be doing Bible reading with him when we work on his verses every week along with a boy's devotional. I got this really cute carrying case to keep his Bible nice, since I bought him the leather bound addition. He was very excited.
He is doing well in Awana and we are told is a leader in his Sunday school class. We couldn't be more proud of how far he has come. It is a lot of work raising a boy with so much energy, so much to say, and who needs so much attention. But it is also very rewarding to watch him achieve success.

Pottery Barn on a Budget...part 2

Today, I created my own version of this fall wreath that was featured on Pottery Barn's website for $59. I did it for about 60 cents because I already had the wreath, so I just had to print the photos in sepia. That inspired me to compare all of my bargain Pottery Barn creations around the house...in the form of a collage! I told ya'll I am a huge fan of this company's decorating style. You will see just how true that is! Each collage features PB on the left and my home on the right.
Entertainment center purchased 6 years ago at Haverty's,
the doors fold back flat like the PB one.
Fireplace screen and matching tool set purchased last year at Target on clearance.

Bedding set purchased at Kohls on sale last year, using birthday giftcards.

Sectional from Ikea.

The purchasing of the new furniture forced me to take a critical eye to some other areas of the house that have been a bit neglected. The guest/kids bathroom is always a wreck with toothbrushes all over the counter and bath toys, towels, and clothes scattered across the floor. It is my daily challenge to keep it neat. But in the event that guests come to stay, or we have visitors...which happens a lot lately with ECI, caseworkers, CASA...you name it...I want the bathroom to be guest friendly and appealing.

So here is my updated-no kid's crap-

(I mean adorable little bottles of shampoo, butt wipes, and hair bows)...
bathroom shelves. All prettied up for visitors. I did this in about 15 minutes by just moving some stuff in from other parts of the house and putting all the random stuff in the cabinet under the sink.

My inspiration: These pretty bathroom jars from...guess where? :)

I stole the soap in a jar idea.

We all have random vases that are not in use, right? So throw some soap bars in it. The scent is marvelous and gives the impression the bathroom is clean. And I added a long standing Martha Stewart decorating tip...tying a couple guest towels together.
This keeps them fluffy and clean, since they won't be used by us every day.

I always offer a clean hand towel or these bathroom paper towels,

so guests do not have to use the same towel my kids slobbered on all day. ;)

With small bathrooms, you have got to maximize your space.

And since we rent, we can't paint or renovate. We are thankful for the pretty new faucet they installed and the towel bars we installed and will leave here when we move. That helps!

Now...I will be moving on to the kitchen...and our playroom needs some serious revamped organization. It is just piles of toys at this point.

You can really do a lot on a budget, and if you aren't creative...order PB's free catalogs to arrive at your house...then shop sales at Hobby Lobby, Michaels, Target, Craigslist, etc. to match the decor you love.

That should get you started!

School Girl

Budgeting w/the cash only system

This month marks two years that Billy and I wrote a budget and went cash only. We had dabbled in it in the past, but never stuck with it. It is much like a diet in that sense. I have had readers ask me before to explain our system, but I wanted to make sure this system was going to stick and last before I went spouting off anything like it was the gospel. After two solid years of living credit card free, I think I can honestly say....it works, you can do it, it will truly change your finances. Now, keep in mind I am no Suze Orman (yes, it's spelled that way, my smart husband and google confirmed it)...so don't go asking me for 401K advice or stock options, or saving for your kids college funds. I am just trying to get food for my kids, eat out every once and awhile, and be able to save for next summer's trip to the beach. That is the extent of my money knowledge.

But what I can tell you, is how to get out of debt. It won't be fast. It won't be easy. But it can be done. We are halfway there. And that says a lot because we had a HUGE mountain to climb. A little bit of background on what got us here...

In the spring of 2008, we found ourselves with 2 kids on one income and in major trouble. In an attempt to lower our monthly expenses, we chose to sell our house. At that time we also had quite a lot in credit card debt rolling over every month and virtually nothing in savings. Thankfully we did not have store credit cards to worry about. They were all major credit card companies, one of which I had had since I was in college. Our house got 2 bids in 20 days and our not so savvy real estate agent, had us go with the couple that had no down payment. The day before we were to close, and happened to have our whole house packed and ready to move into our tiny apartment...they could not get a loan. So our not so savvy real estate agent advises us to let them rent it for the month until their loan is approved and then they will buy it. So we move out, have them sign a lease contract that seemed full proof, and moved out. They paid that month's mortgage and before the next payment was due they up and move out. We contacted a real estate attorney who advised us not to pursue them because the expense would far outweigh the outcome. So here we are living in a 2 bedroom apartment, paying rent and stuck with a couple months mortgage on the house. All of our money was tied up in paying these two bills, along with our moving expenses...so we began to have to live off our credit cards for a period of about 4 months. It was devestating. In that time, every single purchase...just about...went on credit cards. That got us into a financial crisis. We approached our church, who helped us and put us in contact with an amazing financial coach who put us on a very, very strict cash only system and budget. This budget sheet below is similar to the outline of what we do every month. He taught us to "allot what you will pay before you buy", so we became intentional about what we purchased. Gone were the days of the random diet coke at 7-11. Our coach taught us how to surrender our finances to God, how to pray for His guidance, and how to practically deal with our finances. We began to create envelopes for groceries, gas, birthday gifts, eating out, dr. co-pays and meds, dog expenses, clothing, giving...etc. We put a set amount of cash in each pay check and when the money was gone, we would no longer purchase from that category. This forced me to be a savvy shopper so I could stretch our cash. He also had us begin to aggressively pay off the highest interest credit card, cut them all up, and commit to never using credit again for anything. At that time we also began to put money each month into an emergency fund which once we got to $1,000...we were to stop putting money into and begin to put that money towards the credit card. This ensured that in the case of a need arising, like a flat tire or a dr. bill...we would have money and not have to turn to a credit card. This also allowed us to pay one card off completely in about a year. In addition to the envelopes we created a "Freedom Account", which is just an additional checking or savings account that you put money into for expenses like auto maintenance, Christmas, Birthday parties, vacations, etc. That way you are intentionally saving a set amount each year to cover those expenses that always come up. You can learn much more about this system from daveramsey.com (we have done his Financial Peace University in the past), which is where you can purchase envelopes like these:

Or from Crown Financial Ministries which is the system we do now (we use just plain white envelopes). Many churches use one of these systems to teach their members about managing their finances, so your church may be just the place to go for help. I warn you not to get into the trap of saying "well, I can use my credit cards because I pay them off every month"...we did that for years, but then what happens when a lean month comes and you can't pay it off...then that month turns into a year. I understand people who travel and have to use them for business expenses, or who live internationally and have to use them for online expenses and airlines. The bottom line is, if you budget and have worked into that budget paying off your credit care entirely...and are disciplined to do so, you can make it work for you. Just make sure you are saving aggressively every month as well. What this has meant to us is, in 2 years we have paid off half of our debt, we have a month's worth of expenses in our savings account, we bought furniture with cash, we have done two Christmases now and are on our 3rd of no credit card usage, we have taken 2 cash only vacations, and we were able to move out of the tiny apartment into a four bedroom house. Billy also quit his job at S.tarbucks and was hired by a mortgage company that thankfully is able to pay us a little more. We are currently trying to wipe away all of our credit card debt in the next two years, save for our vacation to Florida next summer, and will begin to think about saving to move out of this house in the summer of 2012. Billy works two jobs and I have done some childcare over the past 2 years. I am still actively pursuing some kind of part-time income. I had a family set to come interview us this weekend and after cleaning the house and prepping for their arrival, they were no call no shows. So, so aggravating. But I will continue to trudge along. I have learned over these "lean" years that God does provide ALL that we have. Our children are abundantly provided for with food, clothes, shoes, toys. This usually means I have to be intentional when asking for gifts from family members for their birthdays and Christmas. We intend that no matter what our income is, we are committed to continue to strive to be good stewards of our finances and our spending. We continue to reevaluate "needs" vs. "wants" and are hoping to raise our kids to learn good money management skills. We are thankful to God that we learned these hard lessons early in life. We are hopeful for what the future will bring. We don't desire to ever be "rolling in the dough" in an attempt to live lavishly. We want to use our resources to build our family, allow me be able to raise the kids, contribute to the Lord's work, and support our children's endeavors. Learning how to earn money, how to spend it, and how to give and save it makes us appreciate all the more what we have and can do with our money. It is only by God's continual grace in our life that we are able to do what we do and have what we have. We hope to continue to honor Him with the income that He has given us.