T's Birthday and Homecoming

K's brother, "T" has been home with his family 2 weeks today. It happened very fast like our homecoming with K. He was so excited to move in and has been buzzing around his new house at lightning speed ever since. He is an absolute delight to his family...not perfect as all older child adoptions have their challenges...but really the perfect fit for them. Here is a fabulous update on his  Mama's blog about all the things he has been up to the past two weeks! They have kept him very busy and active and he is having a blast. I have been so very impressed with all the changes they have taken on to make him their son and give him a comfortable place in their home that is all his own. I always loved and respected this family but they are now in my top 5 most admired families I know. Just check out his gorgeous bedroom.

 These are just the preliminary pictures. That bookshelf is now full of wonderful things, his bed is messy and unkept (as a tween's room usually is) and his desk wall has pictures and things hanging. He also has an adorable blue chair (seen in the above corner) with an initial pillow on it, and his name in vinyl above the closet door. It is perfect for a kid his age and interests.

You should see how he scampers about this room like he owns the place...because he now does!

 Here is a picture of my boys welcoming him home with game playing.

It has been a flawless transition.

This past weekend his parents hosted a 12th birthday party for him at the city pool:

Here is Jasmine with T's Mom...her new Aunt Maile!

This is T's new brother, James.

                                              T greeted all his party guests with high fives.

And his dad, Jeremy...whom Isaac LOVES by the way.

We have all had a lot of fun with our new family members!

If God Is For Us, Then Who Can Stop Us?

A friend sent me this quote from this blog on the subject of older child adoption:

"Be prepared for anything. You are stepping on the toes of Satan when you adopt a child and bring them out of the darkness and into the light. He will not put up with that. But greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. God will not let you down. He will be with you every step of the way. When you feel you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. The adoption road is not an easy one, but it is a fulfilling one. It is work even when you get home, but the joy that comes from it is immeasurable. The growth that takes place in you as a person, the strength you never thought you had, the redemption of a life without hope is worth it all!"

I love that so much. The idea that Satan will be on high alert to discourage, confuse, frustrate, and alienate those of us who are doing God's work in this world. This has been a hard adjustment for me to go from a mom who knows how to potty train and effectively discipline a two year old...to a mom who is supposed to know how to deal with all the little battles an adolescent throws your way. But I have begun to soak up the times when God says to my weary heart, I am with you. I have chosen this path for you. I have built the family you were always supposed to have. I am bigger and stronger than anything this world has to throw your way.

Today in the car, this song came on by Chris Tomlin and K began to sing the chorus out. I had no idea he even knew it. He said "I love this song". I said, "me too" and we began to sing it together. I felt a peace fill that van with the lyrics that rang out, "And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with is then what could stand against?"

Nothing can.

Not my shortcomings, not my children's issues or the sin of their birth parents,
not our guilt in never being enough.
Not Satan and his plans to discredit me as a mother.
Not anything can stand against me if God is for me.

Romans 8:38 says,  "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love."

His intense love for me is what keeps me loving these kids when my sin nature fails me.

One of my oldest and dearest friends is a writer and encouraged my heart greatly this week when she wrote these words on the blog,
 Domestic Kingdom 

 "To be sure, mothers sacrifice for their children in a thousand little ways each day. But we have to define and evaluate these sacrifices with an eternal perspective. I’m afraid my vision is all-too myopic in scope all-too often...Hoping in Jesus outshines any earthly gain a mother could ever have were she to forsake her role of sacrificially loving her children.

So when I consider the calling, the work, and the sacrifices of motherhood in this light, with a thrill in my heart I want to say that I have never made a “sacrifice.”

I remember growing up in a home where everything my mother "did for us" was thrown in our faces with the slightest disappointing behavior from us. 

And it still is.

To this day I do not have a relationship with my mother because she cannot move past the ways I have upset her or offended her or rejected her.

 I hope to never be that kind of mother. I hope that if I fall in that area, I can apologize and make amends with my children. I hope my deep love for them can overcome the grief they give me. 

I hope I can lay down my own desires for their good.

I hope my kids will see that I did not sacrifice on their behalf.

Jesus did.

I hope they will always know that the ways I denied myself and my feelings for their greater good was to honor my Lord and point them to the One who gave it all...not so that I could receive the glory via a hallmark card on Mother's Day.

I hope that I will cling to the protection and provision of the One who gave His life that I shall gain eternal life.

I don't know what brings you to this blog every day, dear reader.
I hope it is that there is something here that speaks to your soul.
I will continue to write about the good and the bad and I hope you know that
I am honored to have you.

How Is It Really Going...Really

I know some of you have been wondering now that K has been in our home for two weeks, 

how is it really going with our older child adoptive placement?

My answer:

It is so much more fulfilling than I ever imagined it would be and it is so much more difficult than I thought it would be.

I actually had no expectations really, other than that he would play football (as he talked ALL the time about doing) do some chores, continue to be polite, and have fun with us.

What I didn't know would happen is:

1) He would quite football after just a few days of practice (his reasons are extensive and his personal business so I won't share them here).

2) He would fill me with so much joy when he began to call me Mom all the time within the first week.

3) That he would be so argumentative and teenage boy-ish with me, but not with Dad.

4)That he would get along with Vivi so well and begin to truly love and enjoy her company.

5) That he and Isaac would fight and fuss and annoy one another beyond my limits.

6)That he would eat less than I thought he would.

7) That he would drink WAY more than I was prepared for!

8)That he would complain about things I can not do anything about.

9)That he would want to be with me during every waking hour and want so many things...all the time.

10) That I would be so tired.

Now before you feel sorry for me and try to make claims about how he should be grateful for what he has been given and how dare he give me such mothering angst after all we have done for him...please remember that one does not expect a teen birthed by their parent to be grateful. 

It is their birthright to be given a bedroom and clothing and things they enjoy.

Teenagers are like toddlers~ egocentric.

And mine is no different just because he came to me later in life.

We are constantly talking about things like working hard for what you have, striving for excellence and not settling for mediocrity, being a person of integrity even when no one is looking, and be grateful for the Lord's provision. 

But do I want him to thank us?

 No. 

God did this and He deserves all the praise.

What I would like my son to do however, is to drop the attitude, look at the bright side of things, and make lemonade out of lemons. In a nutshell I just want him to be content.

I bet my Father wants me to do the same.

This child has taught me so much about the parent child relationship and has brought me to my knees in petition and prayer to my God. I believe my eldest son will go far in life. But I don't believe I have the skills to make that happen, I will take some credit for staying all up in his business...but in the end he is his own person with his own free will. 

His success will have to happen by the absolute grace of God interceding in His life.

But that is a tough concept to teach a child who thinks he is the greatest thing since Kobe Bryant.

And this experience has brought out so many insecurities in me.

Although I know K and I are very close as I always hoped we would be, he talks alot about his past and his "school" and "neighborhood". He is processing his losses and does not want to say goodbye to what was, regardless of the negative influence it had on his life. We visited birthfamily last weekend and although I was excited to meet the brother we never knew who is the spitting image of Jayden:

I was also feeling a bit territorial, wanting to tuck my oldest in a bubble where he can't be lied to or misled anymore or tempted. I want him to have birth family relationships but I wonder, at what cost?

You see with my other four, I don't feel competitive towards their first families because I know the bonds we have are deep and far transcend blood relationships. But with my oldest, we don't have the years on our side. We don't have the cuddling and closeness to fall back on. 

And I wonder if I let him go a little, will I one day loose him forever?

Will he always pine over what was and what could have been even if he knows that lifestyle was not in his best interest. Will I be able to say goodbye when it wasn't that long ago that I said hello. 

This is what I ponder when he talks about all the things he wishes he could do and the places he wishes he could go. 

And none of them involve me.

He went to his first sleepover last night and I can tell he has just had a blast. It is a friend of ours whose son is fabulous, and happens to live in K's old stomping grounds. K and he get along very well and I am so grateful for that relationship. But I did wonder, "Oh no. Will he have so much fun there that he won't want to come back here? Will he wish they had adopted him instead of us so he could attend his high school and be with his old friends? Will he think our humble home isn't good enough after relaxing in their beautiful home with a gaming system, backyard pool, and rec center down the street?"

The insecurities pop up at odd times and I find myself wishing this boy (who I could not wait to have a little break from just yesterday) would be home right now and with me. 

He is my absolute heart, like all of my kids are.

So how is it going really?

I have laughed so much in the past two weeks and delighted in my family of 7 and all my children's quirky personalities.

I have yelled and I have cried, and may have slammed a door or two.

I smile a lot more than I think I used to.  

I have glared at lots of strangers who literally walk over and stare at us, saying nothing.

I am drained and dehydrated. 

But I am so incredibly happy that we have done this, five times.

Our house is busting at the seems.

It is small and crowded but filled with so much love and acceptance.

My happy smiling children are proof that we have something wonderful to offer, 

I  pray that it will be enough for all of them.

 

Backpack Corner

 

School begins for my children in just 4 weeks.

This has had me busy around here getting organized, shopping for clothes and shoes, ordering 3 of their backpacks and lunch boxes from Pottery Barn Kids of course, and all around preparing for the end of summer vacation.

**Tip: I always order my backpacks and lunchboxes from PBK in early June before they roll out their new line because the price is significantly lower for last year's patterns, allowing me to afford personalization and always free shipping. I don't mind having to wait a year for the cute new stuff.

As I'm getting everything together, I have used this time to create a backpack corner in our front room for my youngest four.

 Billy hung four hooks and marker boards.

I hung cork boards that I personalized with vinyl lettering from one of my favorite Etsy sellers,

One Sassy Lil Sweet Pea.

I also hot glued clips to the boards for important papers (like field trip notices, and reminders) to hang.

 

In the corner is a red bin filled with labeled ziploc bags of socks for each child.

I don't know about you, but I HATE having to scramble for socks for multiple kids at 7 am.

 $10 wooden shoe racks complete the corner, where I have added trays (both from Target) to allow me to empty their backpacks upon arriving home and file their papers until I can look through them later. 

These racks also serve the purpose of eliminating the common phrase around here of: "where are your shoes?!"

This is also a great place for each child's lunchbox to be ready to go every morning as they head out the door.

The backpack corner sits conveniently in the front room by a window and bench perfect for sitting on to put on and take off shoes.

I sure hope this inspires you to begin to get organized for the kids going back to school!!

A Load of Supplies

 We went school supply shopping today before the stores start running out of stuff, seeing as I had 4 kids to buy for!

 

It was out of control, Y'all.

 

And this isn't even all of it.

I still have most of K's to come.

 

I felt like I was buying for a whole bus of kids. :)

But it is a relief to have that out of the way. 

All I have left are folders, playdough, and the rest of K's things.
We also tackled school clothes and shoe shopping.

Fun times.

I am BEAT today.

Mysteries of Mommyhood

I want to know how anyone could sleep under these circumstances:

Or these:

I mean really....

Is it necessary for her sister to put the entire room in her crib?

I also want to know why a child's pedicure costs the same as an adults:

 There are no heal callouses. 

A child's skin does not need to soak for 15 minutes.

There is no need to massage their feet and legs.

How worn out can 5 year old legs be for pete's sake?

Finally, this might just be the biggest mystery of all...

right up there with the mystery of why boys are incapable of flushing toilets:

What is up with the phenomenon of children dropping their drawers right in front of an empty hamper?

And when said child is confronted with, "what exactly is happening here?" and they respond with a smile and no hurry to remedy the situation...you know you must have entered another realm.

Can anyone figure these household mysteries out for me, please?