Longings

Yesterday I got an email from Vivianna's adoption agency asking for prayer for more families willing to adopt African American infants and those with medical needs. About once a year it seems we get an email of this type from the director. I emailed her back saying I thought they currently had a few waiting families open to other races and she said yes, they have been matched already with African American and bi-racial babies and they are down to their second to last family and have two African American babies due in the coming months. This just made my heart drop. When you look at the profiles on the agency website it is all caucasian couples, most with a white child already, many having been on there waiting for almost a year, and I think to myself, "they are waiting and longing for their perfect little white baby to complete their family." I don't say this to offend those who read this blog that did choose to specify their own race, I say it because it personally grieves my heart. I understand there are many reasons for choosing to do so, I have personally heard them, and once spoke some of them myself, many that start or end with "our family wouldn't accept a child of another race," or "I don't want it to be obvious we adopted when we are out in public" or "I just wouldn't know how to do their hair" or "I don't feel comfortable with it because I can't possibly raise that child to understand their race if I am not of that race." While all of these excuses have meaning, and need to be taken into account, in one way or another- they boil down to a level of uncomfortableness that many, many adoptive couples are not willing to face.


Billy and I will once again travel to our agency this weekend to speak on behalf of open adoptions, transracial adoptions, and special health risk adoptions. We will pray as we always do, that God will give us the words to open the hearts of those who hear about the possibility that maybe, just maybe God has their child in mind already, and maybe that child's skin is a bit darker than their own. I will say as I always do that adoption is not Plan B, not something you do when all else has "failed". Adoption is and was the plan God had for you all along. Couples have spent a decade coming to this realization, a decade that they could have been parenting istead of pining. When I look at the chocolate and caramel colored skin of my two little answered prayers, I feel gratitude well up in my heart. Gratitude that I was chosen out of all the women this whole wide world over to be the Mommy of this boy and this girl.

I was telling Billy about the email that the agency sent and Isaac overheard me. He said "Mom, I want a baby brother that is African American just like me!" and I had to fight back the tears. This isn't the first time he has said that. It will be awhile before that dream can come true. I said "we do too, buddy. We just have to pray to God and He will hear us." And so we pray for our own longing...and we pray for the couples we come in contact with this weekend and their longing. My prayer is that when they dream of their future babies, they dream in color.

Infant Loss

October 15th is the National Day for Rememberance of Pregnancy and Infant Loss. My mother-in-law lost her first born son at birth. My sister lost twins in her first trimester. Another friend of mine lost her firstborn in the first trimester. For us, it was the loss of not being able to conceive and the loss of our Olivia, who although she wasn't officially ours yet, still marks one of the greatest losses in our life. Over the summer, one of my best friends lost her third baby around 9 weeks in-utero. She just had a sonogram this week that showed the strong heartbeat of her 4th, due in May. I celebrate life with her today and I grieve with her and those around me who know the deep pain of loss. I thought I would share with you two blogs that my friend and I enjoy reading. They both have current posts on this subject. The first one is the son and daughter-in law of Pastor John Piper, Molly Piper. Their only daughter was stillborn.

And this One.

The Vacuum

Make a Smilebox slideshow

You might think this little tantrum to get the vacuum is because it is a new toy or because she is tired (note the wet bath head)-well... I wish it were so!! She is VERY competitive with brother, even getting upset if he sits in her chair that I style her hair in. She fusses if he lays on her bed! She cries if he holds a Mickey Mouse, she gets mad if Oscar is in her doll stroller! She does not take well to the idea of sharing things! Boy oh boy...it starts young, doesn't it?!

It is especially comical to us because her birthmother's daughter is described as being just this way when she was a toddler! In-born temperaments are a wild thing!

Isaac's Birthday Party

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Isaac's b-day

Isaac woke up to a very fun surprise that I laid out the night before at his breakfast spot. Presents and balloons!!

Tomorrow is Isaac's big Veggie Tales b-day party. He is very excited. The dining room is loaded down with party bags, snacks, and decorations to take to our party place. The following are pics of him at school passing out pumpkin muffins on his birthday.

Hey the curly-headed girl at the end of this table looks mighty familiar!
Here he is opening his Leap Frog Tag Reader and books from Grandma and Grandpa.
And the board games and workbooks that arrived from Aunt Vicki and Aunt Virginia

Rodeo Day!! Lots and Lots of pictures!

Today was rodeo day at school and as you can see by these pictures, the kids had a great time! They were the cutest cowboy and cowgirl this side of the Pecos River! We even taught Vivi to say "Yee Haw!" She was afraid to get on the horse, but I told her teacher to do it anyway and then once the horse started walking she loved it! When she was with the animals in the pen she was shaking and screaming with excitement! What a goof!! Isaac wore his hat ALL day. He was very excited to get to wear one of his favorite hats to school.