Check out this big brother reading to his little bro! Aren't they adorable?J's favorite books are Please Puppy Please and Please Baby Please (sent by Nana!) both by Spike Lee. They are super cute and feature African American children. J is doing super well! He said three spontaneous sentences this week "I want milk" , "I brushed my teef, Mom!", and "I got my backpack". He still only says about 10-15 audible things a day, so that was good stuff to hear! His speech therapist comes on Mondays and works with him for 45 minutes. He will also have a developmental therapist coming out starting next week. Yesterday I had to take him to the Dr. for a physcial to submit to ECI. He had to get two shots and blood drawn in his arm. He was SO tough and brave. Didn't even show any fear having the needle put into his arm and the blood in a tube across his arm. I was shocked! He cried at the shots in his thighs but that is because the vaccine stings going in. He was also given a prescription for Claritin and a nasal spray because we can not kick this runny nose.
Today I had a kinship caseworker come out and assess if we are eligible for a one time payment from CPS for his care. We are!! Yeah. They measure it based on your income if it is less than 300% above the poverty level. We were in that bracket as a family of five, so we should be getting a nice check in October...just in time for Christmas! That was great news. She also said we could become licensed foster parents under a new program called "Fostering Connections" specifically for kinship foster parents and then receive a monthly stipend check from the government. We are weighing whether this is best because we would have to do 30 hours of what is called "Mini Pride" training classes, plus get CPR certified, plus get TB tests, plus do a lot of other stuff. We haven't made up our minds yet if it would be worth it if we are certified by late November and CPS terminates rights in December or January. So we are going to wait a little bit to make our decision.
In other news with J, I had a run-in with his mother at the visitation today. Now that the kids are in school, I can walk him directly in the building. I was walking him to the door and I looked behind us at a gas station and saw her coming. She immediately starting shouting some nickname to him and he looked back and then turned right back around. I tried to get him to wave, but he tucked his head in my leg. Then we walked into the building to sign in and she came up behind us and kept trying to get his attention but he ignored her and begged me to pick him up, burying his head in my chest. I went in one entrance and she went around to another entrance to wait to be let in. I explained to the caseworker on duty who I was and that I had adopted his older brother and he was very attached and may fuss during the visit. She went to let his birthmother in the door and he started to fuss. The caseworker picked him up and he lunged towards me crying. His birthmother was making a face of dissapointment and sadness. I think he cried for awhile, but I scurried into the waiting room. I felt so bad leaving him like that. Afterwards he came running through the lobby shouting "Mom, mom, mom!" until he found me. On the way out of the building we passed her waiting for her ride and I encouraged him to give her a high five, he did and she kissed his hand which was very sweet to see, because both CASA and the caseworker tell me that she does not touch him much during the visits and he does not willingly go to her. I told them to invite her to put him on her lap and read to him, that way she can get some cuddle time in. This is the first time she and I have ever been in the prescence of each other. I felt like saying something to her like "I am your 3rd son's Mom...and your 4th son is doing really well with us....please make this easy on all of us and let us adopt him..." but that wasn't going to happen, obviously. And there just didn't seem to be anything that was right to say, so I said nothing but "hi" and "bye" with lots of smiling. I hope one day we could have some sort of conversation. And I would love, love to get a photo taken of her with the boys. But with CPS cases...you just have to walk a fine line.
For now we will keep on loving him. He is an absolute joy and now that he is settled I have begun to let myself wonder when we will be blessed with our little babylove. J LOVES babies, loves them, so I know he would love the roll as big brother. Billy and I think we have our boy and girl names set for baby number 4...both happen to start with a J! But no chance of you squeezing those out of us...so don't even ask! Ok...I think this blog post is plenty long enough for the 6 of you devoted enough to read this far!! :)
Vivi went to her first day of pre school today!
I couldn't resist this cute school girl outfit.
Look at this boy!
The yellow sticks are earned for getting ready for school in the morning with less than 2 reminders, walking/riding bike to school without any rule infractions, doing anything without an attitude, behaving at school/church, going to bed without fussing. He loses yellow sticks for unruly, rude, or fussy attitudes and behaviors towards anyone in the family. He has been doing fantastic with this system! We do not want to reward with prizes or toys because we want him to behave because it is the right thing to do. TV was something he always received each day, but now that he has to earn the privilege to partake in that most favorite of hobbies, it is the perfect amount of motivation for him. 
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